2012

2012 is coming to an end and we are all still alive and kicking. The famous Mayan's so-called doomsday did not realise, thankfully, and now we are all looking back and figuring how silly it was for people to believe an apocalypse predicted centuries ago could actually be genuine. Perhaps the Mayans shouldn't be entirely blamed since they did not explicitly imply that it is the end of the world the reason they stopped jotting down dates, but those archaeologists who creatively interpreted it as a possible end-of-the-world indication.

Anyway, 2012 is a special year for me. It's the beginning of a new life for me because I ended my secondary school life and traversed a path I never walked before. The school life routine was broken and I was blessed with an opportunity to wander into another world where things are not as easy as it appeared to be.

Let's look back at what have transpired.

First, I got a part time job in a restaurant that sells mainly frog porridge. I was bored to death at home so I figured I could find a part time job and earn some money to sustain my living independently. After all, I've 5 months more before I resume my studies and I really ain't going to waste it at home sitting on the chair like a sack of potatoes waiting to sprout.

So there I got, a part time job. It wasn't a pleasant one because I was working as a waiter. I hated it. There really was no telling when your customers would come. Sometimes there was one, sometimes there were so many you lost control of the situation and confusion hit you. Furthermore, the restaurant allows their customers to smoke, and since my respiratory system was never in the pink, I contemplated to quit. Luckily the boss told me, indirectly and as polite as possible, that they did not need my assistance anymore as their business wasn't up to their expectation and an extra hand was not needed at the time. I was as pleased as punched and gladly quit.

Then I found my second part time job, the one which I like so much that I even consider going back there after my STPM. It was a stationary/book shop that organises book fairs in schools. While the job was downright exhausting and sometimes screamingly exasperating, I enjoyed it very much because I learnt a lot and I got to visit many schools. The job was tough since I was required to work from 7am-6pm, and, when there's no book fair, 9am-5pm, I never once felt sick of the job. I got to see the world outside and realised that it wasn't as beautiful as I had imagined, and that customers who patronised your fairs could sometimes be very shifty and deceptive. And I found what I liked. Something not many people who share but still something I enjoy indulging in. 

I quit the job April since I have to resume my study life. Form 6 was not the same as form 5. It's widely acknowledged as one of the toughest exam in the world - and for that I am sure everyone who goes through the torture will gladly agree with that rumour - and the change of system does not seem to be helpful and has actually exerted an extra load than removing any. Due to the part time jobs I took on, my personality has changed and I became more exuberant and socially active, and though I still did not enjoy my life the way most people do, I've learned to let go of something and embrace new stuffs I find welcoming and appropriate. Form 6 class was just as appropriate as it sounds. L6BP - a class of mixed students who, for certain subjects, have lessons together and, for different subjects, segregate. Thanks to the mixed combination, the uniqueness of this class is perhaps what captured me the most. Not too many nerds, thanks to Physics students who spend less time memorising, and not too many geeks, thanks to Biology students who spend less time twisting their brains trying to fathom the list of discombobulating formulae. While there appears to be a gap between few groups of friends, most mingle well, with perhaps five or six who do not fit in or even attempt to blend in.

Then we were told that we probably would have to go to Junior College next year, immediately rain a cloud of despondence through the students. Not that I hate it very much. To me there's something good about it, but it would be too sudden for us to go there next year, and a change of system is going to be another chaos and I would be happy to avoid that. Luckily, we won't be going there next year. Then, MUET exam. MUET was an entirely different English exam than what we've sat for, and this exam proved to be arduous. STPM too. After half a year of struggling, we sat for one exam that was given scant time. Basically, I had eaten and regurgitated everything in the exam. I am sure I did abysmally but I guess I'll let faith determines how it ends. 

That's my life throughout this year. It's the most meaningful and eventful life I have. Though sadly many of my friends have gone on to further their studies at elsewhere, we manage to gather when opportunity comes and the joy was still as pleasant as it was. Of course I too have chummed up a few new friends during form 6 and they are great too, and annoyingly I am still asked to burden a responsibility nobody likes and I foresee that it'll possess me for another year.

So what are the interesting events that don't concern me worth remembering?

Well, first of all, we survived the apocalypse! Like I said, the apocalypse is rubbish and I really have no idea why so many people around the world buy it and fell for it. Maybe there are clouded by notions that the Earth is sick and man-made disaster, whether deliberate or unintentional, was indeed going to happen and obliterate the world into oblivion. It sounded plausible, since the weather change this year was rapid, abrupt and violent and very unpredictable. Storms hit several parts of the world and the amount of deaths was frightening. Violence and clashes are omnipresent and there appear to be no easing.

Earlier this year, Anwar was finally acquitted from sodomy charges. After four years of trials, allegations and defamation, justice prevailed and he was acquitted. That news certainly impacts BN hardest since they couldn't create another lie easily again to drag the opposition down. Next, massive internet blackout. Wikipedia, for instance, went black for a day in protest of SOPA, an internet law recently drafted and passed (was it?) in the USA which threatened the freedom of speech and put lots of innocent people at risk of faulty lawsuits. Malaysia later follows the step and intends to implement the same law, but at last any news go unheard as the public's response was so intense I did not think the government would even dare to mention in by passing.

Then, there was Bersih 3.0. The government was right at one thing: it is politically motivated, but they got one thing wrong: not by the opposition, but by how dirty you are. Knowing that such demonstration would significantly affect their image and exploit their dirty works, they vehemently disapprove it and outlaw it. Nonetheless, it didn't stop the public from participating it. It was a peaceful demonstration, until someone unknown clashed with the cops and from there things went pear-shaped. The police sprayed water laced with chemicals and fired tear gas, which immediately drew public outcry, activists condemnation and international attention. It was internationally acknowledged as a violation of human rights, and the moves by the government were recognised as inhumane and brutal. Only the government insisted what they did was right and appropriate, and the newspaper intended to support it by publishing lots of articles with lies. Please, the public are smarter than you think!

Then Bersih chairman was sued an amount of money. In accordance with the controversial Peaceful Assembly Act, if violence broke out and damages were widespread and severe, the person who organised the responsible event would be held accountable for the damage. Everybody knew it was bullshit, but the government decided to do whatever in their power for their enemy to topple. How it ended was not exactly known as lights were not shed on it, but since Ambiga is a lawyer, such a move would not be easy on someone as prominent as her.

Moving on, we have a case of kidnapped boy who caught international attention. His name was Nayati, and if I'm not mistaken he had Dutch blood. I'm pretty sure the only reason the police were working so hard on the case was because the father's status, or else this type of kidnapping would usually go quiet. Anyway, the boy escaped unscathed later when ransom was paid. And, guess what, the kidnappers were later nabbed and prosecuted. Interestingly though, a report released earlier seemed to suggest that Malaysia was the safest country in Southeast Asia, surpassing Singapore. What a joke!

Then, global was once again hit by economic recession, and it became so fragile whoever attempted to fix it risked going bankrupt. Four countries in Europe were on the brink of insolvency, and unfortunate for London it had to host the Olympics. With people's expectation held high and anticipation rising, London could never risk disappointing its fan so they decided to do their best to deliver a powerful programme. And so they did, though it wasn't as good as Beijing Olympics, it was good itself and certainly deserved an applause. The economy in Europe later on improved marginally, but the impact was not going to be easily improved as unemployment rate was high.

Lee Chong Wei came very close to win Malaysia's first ever Gold medal. He was defeated by Lin Dan by only two points. He endeavoured not to cry on stage while receiving his silver medal, and later on apologised on Twitter for letting his fans down. Well, I don't idolise people no matter how great they are, but I did felt sad for him. He carried a weight so heavy he felt so sombre letting his fans down, though deep in the heart everybody was already ebullient he could grab a silver. Pandelala later became the first Malaysian to win a silver in diving, lighting hope for Malaysian athletes to perform better in sports other than badminton. Paralympics, held in the same city as Olympics, wasn't as hotly celebrated as Olympics, but still it was successful. Euro Cup was held the same year, and surprise surprise Spain again won the title!

Politics worldwide was chaotic. Libya was still as unrest as before. Egypt elected a new president, but after few months in power, the incumbent president decided to enact a law that is deemed unconstitutional and therefore the public strongly condemns it. Even the lawyers rejected it and walked away. Egypt politics remained unrest, and the tourism was severely impact. Pakistan drew attention to it when a young girl was shot on a bus. She criticised the militants and was shot. Lucky for her the attempted assassination failed and she survived, though after going through a series or ordeals. An Indian student boarded a wrong bus and was gang-raped by six men. An iron rod was inserted into her and she subsequently suffered from multiple organ failures. After several days of surgeries and medical assistance, she ended up dead. Her friend who was with her pulled through though. Even though she died, the incidence remained vivid in people's mind and voiced concerns over women rights in India. 

Shooting incidence in USA was rampant. First there was a shooting in a theatre when Batman was screened. The man was believed to have suffered from some mental disease. Then, a shooting occured in Newtown, Connecticut, only this time, it happened in an elementary school. I was flabbergasted it happened in an elementary school. How did a young gal got a gun to shoot at people? The incidence was used as an example for the government to take action against ammunition enforce stricter laws for the use of guns. As of speaking, the case has not been solved and is still a sensitive issue.

Gangnam Style became a sensation. I didn't know how it become so hot, but suddenly everybody begins to sing and dance it. The singing was not very pleasantly nice, and the music was slightly annoying. The dance was weird, but still everybody goes on singing it. It became the first Youtube video to receive 1 billion views, surpassing Justin Bieber's Baby. Then we have the sex blog couple, whose unabashed view of sex receive harsh criticism. They published their sex photos on their blog, which is now blocked, and aren't ashamed of it and didn't care how the public receives it. To me, I don't really care that much. You can do whatever that you want and you can post it wherever you want. If I don't want to watch it, I simply don't go to your blog. Apparently, the public receives it differently and demands apologies from the couple. NUS was pressed to take action against his student, and an enforcement was established to review the case and a decision was drawn, though discreetly. 

Well, many more happened this year and I can't really write all of them down, but 2012 has been a wonderful year. One more day left before we embrace 2013, and I somehow feel that this year shouldn't have ended so fast. Goodbye, 2012. 

Merlin: The Diamond Of The Day

I have been a great fan of Merlin. I've been looking forward for the series finale since last year when I first watched an episode and today I finally am able to watch the series finale.

I'm not a British nor an American, so trying to watch the show online is pretty tough as I have to dig deep to find a website that doesn't ask for money. And because I'm a Malaysian so I do not know much about the Arthurian legend. Frankly I don't even know this legend exists until I watched an episode of Merlin.

The Diamond Of The Day

I loved the episodes. The first part focuses on Merlin trying to gain back his power after it is seemingly absorbed by a creature sent by Morgana while the second part centres on Merlin and Arthur friendship, the discovery of Merlin's sorcery and the final battle.

The first part was great. Honestly I got tricked by the trailer. I actually thought Merlin is going to join the battle without his magic. Trailers.....

Merlin knows he is vulnerable and practically useless without his magic, so he decides that the best solution to gain back what is being robbed is to go to where magic is born - the Crystal Cave. It slightly annoys me why Morgana didn't just kill him there. She has a chance and no resistance, so killing him off should be exceedingly easy, and yet she chose to trap him there, giving him a chance to regain his power and escape.

Well, we later on realise that Merlin is much more powerful than he has been portrayed. He is magic himself.

I liked how Arthur reacts when he knows that Merlin isn't joining him for battle. The truth moments between this two best friends have always been my favourite. Arthur confesses that Merlin is the bravest man he has ever encountered, and is deeply disturbed and sad he couldn't join him. Obviously Gwen shares the same view, but perhaps she is a bit more understanding and knows that Merlin would never abandon Arthur in time of needs.

The second part was the best one. It begins with the battle that ends in the first part. It appears that Camelot is going to fall as the enemy marches on, until Emrys interferes and uses his magic to topple the enemy. Mordred, filled with revenge, uses the sword that was forged with the dragon's breath to kill Arthur, and Arthur did likewise. Perhaps Arthur doesn't know his sword isn't an ordinary one, but it certainly does its trick. By the way, is it just me, or Arthur seems a little bit too calm and strong for a person who has a sword run through him?

Anyway, he collapses and Emrys takes him away. Merlin later tells Arthur his secret and Arthur understandably does not want him to be around, until Gaius appears the next day and convinces Arthur that Merlin is his only chance of survival. He reluctantly agrees and sees what Merlin does throughout the journey. He dies after saying thank you.

Morgana, on the other hand, dies after being killed by Merlin using the same sword Arthur killed Mordred. In my book the battle between Morgana and Merlin is very anti-climatic. They both are extremely powerful sorcerers and yet they fight like a human.

I like the moments between Arthur and Merlin. You could see how afraid Arthur was, and then how he slowly accepts who Merlin is. Despite the fact that he fears Merlin, his subconscious still wants to protect him like he always did. You could see it when they come across the Saxons and despite his wounds he wants to fight with them. Of course Merlin wouldn't allow it, and now that his secret is out he could use magic and single-handedly destroy his enemies.

The chemistry between them is simply fantastic. Arthur later realises Merlin has always been helping them, and yet never once did Merlin seek for credits and recognition. Merlin promptly replies that's not what he is after, and that stuns Arthur. Their moments together are so touching I almost shed a tear.

Like I said, I didn't know much about that Arthurian legend so I really didn't know Arthur was going to die. It saddens me to watch him die, because I would really love to see how Merlin and Arthur live together when Arthur accepts him as a sorcerer.

I would also prefer to see how Camelot would be a few years later, now that Gwen is the Queen and that she knows who Merlin is.

It's sad that the series has ended. Anyway, it's a great show, and I'll always remember it as one of the best television drama ever aired.

Merry Christmas

It's December 25th again. It means.......CHRISTMAS!! Merry Christmas everyone! I'm not a Christian but that ain't going to stop me from celebrating this wonderful event. It would have been better if I could see snow, play with it, receive gifts, have santa claus trying to get into the chimney in my house (just kidding haha).

It's the first Christmas after the world ends! Cheers!

Holiday

How have you spent your holiday? It's interesting how simple yet difficult this question is. You have spent a holiday doing something, which means you already have the experience required to answer such a question. Yet when you're inquired how have you used it, you got stumped, you will be lost for words and usually you'll brush it off or nonchalantly give a mundane response.

It's true. You have gone through a month doing lots of activities - whatever activities they are - and yet sometimes you can't find one valuable enough to be recorded. Most people would say they spend most of time sitting at home, idle, watching television dramas, soap operas or playing computer games - typical of teenagers right now - or going online to chat with friends, trying to dig out whatever that is worth giving attention to, et cetera. 

Some people will say they participated in many activities. Camps, for example. Some of them got so active they joined a camp and be crazy for a few days. The chummed up a few friends, exchanged knowledge and interests with some random boys and girls, probably fell in love after detecting overlapping interest, got so spent they went home and slept like a pig for a few days undisturbed until their parents thought they dropped dead and crossed over to the other realm, or suffered severe sunburn their skin peeled off.

Some find a part time job, trying to earn money to support themselves. Sometimes, you'll realise a meagre amount of money, though unable to allow you to live entirely autonomously, could be very satisfying. Some will try to fulfil their dreams, go after dreams they thought they'll never realise, and venture into places they could never possibly imagine.

What have I done? Basically, nothing. I've been sitting idly at home trying to figure out what to do on the next day, and this is probably a routine I never fail to break since the holiday kicks off. Occasionally I would go play badminton. I'm never very good at it but I am trying hard to improve it. Sometimes my father will bring me for a day trip to various places, and for once in my life I've got the opportunities to travel to someplace where I thought my father would never ever possibly bring me. I attended my cousin's wedding in Langkawi. A very luxurious and thankfully lovely wedding and a nice buffet. The buffet sent me under the weather though, causing me to go through the same torture I sweared on God I never wanted to be hit again. (Yes, I've had it before)

Anyway, this holiday is one of the best I've ever had. It might not be very colourful or fruitful, but it certainly ain't the most dull one. I hope you guys have a great holiday, because once our study life is over, such a holiday is deemed to be extremely precious, very hard to come by, and definitely a chance you'll never ever want to let it slip. Enjoy your last two weeks. 

PMR 2012

Jit sin has once again top Penang by emerging as the school with the most number of students scoring 8As. The number this year is 286, fewer than 297 last year, but is still something to be proud of. Good job Jit Sin-ese. Hopefully SPM, STPM and STPM Baharu result will be as good as this. Fingers crossed!

Doomsday? Maybe Not

December 21st, 2012 has always been a date everyone remembers. People believe the apocalypse falls on this date because the Mayan calender ends here, and most people believe it to be genuine because the Mayan has a reputation in predicting the future.

To me? I don't believe such crap. A date is simply something you jot down the time, not something you predict when the world ends.

It's pretty fascinating how December 21st has been sensationalised. The movie 2012 is the embodiment of media influence. I haven't watched the movie because I do not want to support a bunch of people waiting to gain profit by exaggerating and sensationalising a myth, but the movie certainly did portray the world as a dirty place, which I won't deny, and the end of the world as painfully horrifying.

Lots of ideas rose. Some said the Earth's magnetic field will be reversed. Some said the Sun will simply go astray and will never ever rise. Some said alien would intrude our world and damage our delicate Earth. Some said a meteor will hit and obliterate the Earth. The most absurd one I've stumbled upon, so far, would probably be that Gangnam Style hits 1,000,000,000 views on Youtube.

On the other hand, a multitude of people like me would rather choose a less stressful and a more optimistic alternative - ignore the myth. The world will not end just because someone predicts it'll end. It's 11.23pm, December 21st, 2012, and nothing has yet happened, and nothing will.

Going Down

My friend today said on facebook that collapsing is one thing he would never ask to experience again. I presumed he actually went down, but since he was able to post on Facebook about that encounter, I again presume it wasn't something serious.

This reminds me of something: I experienced the same thing, except for the falling down part and possibly apparent time lapse. 

It was about a year or two ago, a Saturday morning. It happened during activity. I couldn't remember what activities I had before that encounter, but I could remember when. It was around noon, I was standing in a squad. 

Then, suddenly, I felt vibrations in my ear, only momentarily. Then, my hearing got impaired, sounds became vague and eventually I almost heard nothing. Then, my eyes acted weird. Darkness permeated, it was spreading outside in. Eventually, only a ring of normal vision remained in the centre of my field of vision and the others just got black. Not entirely black, but sort of being shadowed. Web-like, and ink-like.

I was shaking on the ground. I moved forward and backward. I fought hard that time because I didn't want to fall on the ground, especially when I was in a squad. My stability was giving away, but I tried to remain still.

Thankfully, after a few seemingly long minutes, everything went back to normal.

But that experience, even though the process wasn't complete and thankfully it wasn't, was not something I would like to experience again. 

If you experience what I'd just said, you gonna watch out. 

Problems?

You know what happens recently? I do, at least I think I do. Many things are going on, and there are too many for me to process. It's not just about me, but what becomes of my friends affect me too, somehow. First, and the most bothering one, terminations of relationships. Somehow boyfriends and girlfriends just decide that the line is fragile and should just break. I do not know whether those are puppy loves or serious relationships, but I do not wish to pry. If I were having a relationship problem, I wouldn't want my friends to pry. If I want to talk about it, I'll talk about it. 

To those who are having this problem: bear in mind - while the relationship might have just ended, it does not mean it's permanent. The damage is probably reversible, although the impact on one's emotion is most likely permanent. Relationships, although I haven't gone through any, are full of obstacles. They serve as tests to determine whether the both of you are valiant enough to weather the ferocious storm that will strike spontaneously with no mercy. You know what happens if you go weak, your legs go wobbly and soul skedaddles when you're caught in the midst of troubles? Simple - everything comes crashing down, and it marks the end of whatever you've meticulously planned to be perfect.

Just be tough. Because what happens now are only the beginning. 

Second things that have been happening: studying. I've got many friends studying A-Level, and they have yet to sit for their exam. Some have just finished few days ago, some have to wait till next year while suffering with a pile of books in front of them. Somehow, I realise some of my friends are emotionally vulnerable to injuries. Maybe they have too high an expectation, or maybe they really do have their hands busy with loads of seemingly endless homework, or maybe they have been pressurised by their parents to obtain flying colousr. God knows what, but what I do know is that many of them are not doing very well and are not holding up.

Not all of them, mind you. Students who study A-Level generally cope well with pressure. But some are exceptions and I, to protect their privacy, would not divulge any names. For those who are feeling loads at the back: try to calm down, relax, and go have fun. Homework isn't everything. Try to chill and maybe hike a mountain, spill out everything you've concealed deep down in your heart, and you'll probably find that whatever is giving you the unnecessary weight would have miraculously vanished.

Try it. I'm not sure how effective it is, but hey, it's better than nothing. Remember, humans have a maximum capacity where we can store only up to a certain limit of unwanted waste, any additional one would have pushed the envelope and resulted in usually irreversible damage.

Third of them: crave for attention. Sorry guys, some of you are downright annoying. I understand that facebook is the place where you can pour out your problems, but it doesn't mean you should abuse it. Some posts up to 20 posts within a mere 15 minutes on issues so infinitesimal I wouldn't be surprised if nobody bothers to leave a response. Then, when nobody gives a damn about them, they come out with new posts, trying to sound sarcastic to people who apparently turn a deaf ear towards whom he finds seemingly needy people. 

Then, we have people who indirectly crave for attention. They love to complain, and complain, and complain. They could grouse about virtually every issues. And the most exasperating one is that he never stops complaining, even if in that particular situation he is the person who is to blame, and he sometimes is foolishly bold enough to curse at other people who he identifies as the culprit behind whatever hot soups he falls into. 

To these people, if one day, in the future, you've been stigmatised and socially isolated, don't blame other people who do not open their doors for you, blame yourself for always pointing your fingers at other people, and for refusing to open your doors for other people to fit in. 

I think there are enough problems here. If you think you are experiencing one of the problems I have outlined above, consider what I've said. It might be useful, it might not. But how do you know if you don't give it a try? 

Interest

Someone asked me what is my interest. Interesting question. It's not because I do not know what my interest is, but nobody has ever bothered to ask what do I find engaging. Mostly because most people share a similar interest(s). Technology is usually the main interest. Second would be computer games, then idols/celebrities and...umm....many more I guess.

They say human can be compartmentalised into a few groups. I can't exactly remember all of them and I'm lazy to search for them. I remember a few: realist, socialist, artistic, and I guess a few more. People who get along with me for long easily identify me as a realist. Yup, I'm a realist.

Of all my friends that I have, only less than 10 are realist. I can't exactly tell which group my friends belong to, I wouldn't attempt to do it anyway. Realist is different because we don't believe in hypothetical situations. We tend to be introverted. We love to think more than being physically active. Quite many more.

I don't exactly call myself a true realist because not all of my personalities fit its definition. Certain are true: I don't believe in fantasies and I seldom fantasise. I'm slightly introverted but that's because of my strict upbringing and I don't enjoy spending money on stuffs I do not find necessary. I love to think but am not extremely physically active, for reasons I had stated before and because I had no interest in quite many sports out there. Socialising is something I'm not very good at because I share virtually no similar interest to my peers, but besides those subjects I couldn't drone on I could talk about any things that I can connect to.

So what is my interest? I don't want to state it here. Why don't you go do some detective work? Find out what a realist is like and try to deduce what I have interest in. Do bear in mind, I'm not 100% realist. A 100% realist would be a total nerd and they really suck in socialising. You might be able to get some correct. 

If you really are curious, go try. 

Newspapers

Reading newspapers today suddenly makes me remember the title of MUET speaking: newspapers play many roles in our lives. Which do you think is the biggest role? 

Undeniably, newspapers is indeed part of our lives, and the role it plays is huge and cannot be dismissed. The most sold newspapers in Malaysia would probably be Utusan Melayu  (the newspaper I shall endeavour not to curse today), followed by The Star, another newspapers I will try my best no to lambaste. I don't know which Chinese newspapers is the most popular, but I've been a fan of Kwong Wah because my mother supported me and because I grow up reading it, reading other newspapers is simply alien to me.

The first role it gave was reporting current events. Historically, newspapers were not distributed to report current events. But that, of course, depends on how you define 'newspapers'. The first widely circulated news sheets, according to Wikipedia, was meant to convey political messages and not report news. This, however, stirred some debate over whether that news sheets are considered 'newspapers' since its definition doesn't appear to fit well. 

Let's focus on what happens in this era. Newspapers are circulated principally to report current issues. Just look at the front page, what do you read? If the biggest printing on the newspapers you're holding is about celebrities gossips or advertisements, it's very likely you've picked a magazine or an advert. But I'm pretty sure most people are not too dumb to be unable to differentiate between a newspapers and a magazine.

Whatever happens are reported in the newspapers. The difference is how much attention they get. Sometimes, newspapers can be discombobulating. A seemingly infinitesimal case or a tragic death of a not-known stranger could be printed on the front page. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't mean that their deaths or any burglaries do not deserve to be mourned, but I'm quite sure there are major concerns that involve more parties and these should get more attentions. Let's say...unexplained food poisoning among school children? Shouldn't these cases get more attention than a death of a total stranger since the source of the poison is most likely unidentified and anyone could still be a victim?

Okay. I got carried away. Let's get back to the role: reporting current events. Newspapers report happenings that are going on all around the world, including the universe and places unexplored, obviously, with issues on the galaxies and planets being constantly reported. Of course, the newspapers would focus on events happening within the country of its publication. Why wouldn't you? You can't blame them anyway, they can't station a journalist/reporter in the corners of the Earth and expect them to flee to places where explosions go off randomly or the dirty secrets are hidden. Issues like new plans or government transformation are usually the priority and printed in the front page, with issues considered mild or news considered worthless are printed together with more eye-catching advertisements.

But thanks to the invention of the newspapers, we move on as civilisation progresses. Newspapers remind us on the impact of some horrible mistakes to the victims and it is a message for the readers not to repeat the history. The war between US and Iraq have caused unforeseen and unimaginable psychological, infrastructure and geographical damages. When global recession, or economic tsunami, attacks, newspapers take on the mantle to deliver the latest updates - which country is affected the worst or which has faced insolvency. Magazines couldn't publish issues on these because magazines are generally much more expensive and they are not published daily. Hence, newspapers is still the best means to get updated information.

So what's the second role it's said to play? Imparting knowledge. Ya, it's true. A newspaper is not solely distributed mainly to announce any latest changes. There are articles they are extremely beneficial, if a little misleading, to the readers. Latest discoveries on certain issues like health and environment could be reported immediately. For instance, if cigarette is scientifically proved to be damaging to the body, then readers should thread carefully the next time they attempt to take a smoke. However, because the journalists/reporters who report the issues are generally laymen, interpretation of certain knowledge might be inevitably twisted due to insufficient knowledge and ergo the articles he writes becomes disturbingly misleading. Scientists agree that newspapers is not a reliable source of medical reference, but besides newspapers, what else can a person turn to? 

Articles written by educationists, on the other hand, would decidedly benefit the students. It doesn't matter whether the knowledge you impart suit the readers or not, but as long as it is factually correct, there should be no harm publishing it. 

The third role it plays would be improving language proficiency. Does it? Ya, it does. Newspapers is how I improved my language, but I won't say it's the most important role it plays anyway. Newspapers printed in any languages would only use formal language. You can't find a Manglish newspaper out there. (If you find one, tell me!) If it's a Malay paper, the language used must be pristine and grammatically correct. The problem in Malaysia is that newspapers often use languages that somehow got entangled with other languages, causing interference of languages. Malay being the worst - there are many borrowed words. Chinese isn't any better either because there are too many local slang.

However, if it's written nicely and grammatically, newspaper is an awesome source for learning languages. Firstly, it's cheap. Secondly, there are abundant of articles for you to peruse. Thirdly, the tone of the writing is usually soft and conversational to engage the readers by making them feeling absorbed. So, you don't usually get bored reading the articles. If you loathe it, skip it. Simple. Journalists would sometimes use bombastic words and highfalutin languages to reflect their language proficiency, so on the bright side, you would have a perfect opportunity to learn the language; on the dark side, you'll probably not understand the gist of the articles.

If you wanna use newspapers as a source to improve your language proficiency, make sure to bring along a dictionary. Sometimes, newspapers can be very annoying.

The fourth role it plays is advertising. Factually, it isn't; but newspapers is mostly covered by advertisements. Flip through the newspapers, and you'll find so many advertisements you thought you are buying a book of advertisements with news being the decorations. The problem is, how many people bother about these advertisements? Without huge printing and wonderful illustrations, you'll never catch the attention of the readers. But that's the big deal - newspapers allow them to advertise the way they want, at a price, and they satisfy them at the expense of the readers. The preponderance  of advertisements is very annoying to me.

There are still many roles a newspaper plays. Gossip, for instance. They love to pry into the lives of each celebrities and dig out all dirty secrets they try to hide. Even the death of a celebrated singer attracted more paparazzi than the visit of Barack Obama to China. Horoscope are published for readers who believe them. Opinions columns, created for people to opine on issues that really doesn't concern them, and if it does concern them they make it personal and talk rubbish. Obituaries for the family to mourn the deaths. Movie reviews for readers to understand how a person receives a movie. Cartoons and caricatures either for entertainments and libel.

Newspapers play a lot of roles. I wouldn't underestimate the roles they play, but I definitely do not like all of them. 

Writing

Ever feel bored? Sometimes, entertainment and fun are snatched away, and you're left with only a blank sheet of life so dull you're wondering what you should do with it. That's life. Life's full with ups and down. If there's lack of one then it's very likely your life has been a total chaos and a complete boredom. The ups are satisfying, entertaining, sweet, lovable while the downs are downright annoying and hated. Yet you can't deny - they are important, for they colour your life.

But here's the deal - while you experience ups and downs, they should balance and cancel each other out, no matter in what frequency they transpire. You can have 100 downs in a day, but there'll be 100 compensations for that. Huge or small, let the faith decide, but it's probable that your downs have been compensated without your knowing.

Why am I writing this? I don't know. Well, I'm not filled with unexplained surge of emotions. Ya, I was kinda bothered last night, but today I'm fine. I'll try to be fine anyway. The problem is, I'm bored. Yup - unlike most people of my age, I hate long holidays. One week or two, that's amazing. More than that, holiday is annoying.

I don't socialise the way most people do. What interests I have is completely different from others. I have never been up to date. Technology and automobile are two things I am severely lagged behind of. Don't ask me what iPhone is, because I don't know, I don't wanna know and I don't care. I don't see cars. I can't even identify the cars that are choking the traffic. Owing to that, I share almost no similar topics with my peers. They might enjoy themselves reviewing the latest technologies or games, but I'll just sit at the side listening to what they say and pretending I understand. 

But no worries, that's not what bothering me. I have no desire to be up to dated on those stuffs because I don't find them a need in our daily lives. I don't take photos on a daily basis, and I don't get banged by car and asked to identify them often. So, no, I will take no attempt to change that, unless the situation warrants it. That's me, and perhaps this is where I'm different. 

I indulge in activities that are practically boring but, when the outcome is obtained, it's satisfying. What stuffs, if you wonder? Anything productive. I can't exactly pinpoint those works. Working is one, ya, albeit it is downright boring and the process and routine are a huge murder, but the notion of getting your salary, and the moment you finally get it, is rewarding and sweet. There's where I find satisfactions - accomplishments, but perhaps in a different view from the others. Most people derive satisfactions from winning a competition, but I don't. Not majorly anyway. 

Everybody's different. I'm no exception. Everyone of us contains a uniqueness not shared by the others. I've got a friend whose love for Mathematics is undying, and you just couldn't understand how he manages to play with that jargon for such a long time and not falling to it. I've got a friend whose flame of love of sports never die off and could keep burning even if he's totally wiped out. I've got a friend who has a patience of a saint and will never go berserk no matter how you annoy him. There are more, almost countless. 

But if you were to ask me how am I different, I would be left perplexed. It is very ironic how a person could easily analyse other people's personality and compartmentalise them into different sections, but yet fail to do the same for himself. Perhaps we often generalise a person's behaviour and make it seem as we understand how each of our friends act, but appearance deceive and his true behaviour might be concealed and remain a confounding secret that is never meant to be unravelled.

God is fair. He makes our society special by making sure that's not too many overlapping interests among the people He created. And we should thank Him, for He has painted our life with such mesmerising colours. Like everything else, balancing is the key. Ups and downs need to be balanced, so are good and evil, and therefore you'll never find a society where there's an overwhelming greatness or only ups. If the society consists of only goods, then the society itself is imperfect, as perfectness itself is a flaw.

Everybody is different, and I believe we should be able to identify what and where. Have you? If you haven't, try to. Understanding yourself is part of growing up, although it would be very challenging as you might find yourself constantly changing. 

Because that's life. Life always changes. 

Hope; Aim

Sometimes, humans are complicated. They might be able to be explained, but the problem is how? Humans have tried with futility to answer a multitude of questions that surround us. A satisfying answer has never been proposed. The reason is simple: humans are complicated. What happens to a person might not be the same to the another, and hence this causes great difficulties in unravelling mysteries. Perhaps, certain things are meant to be rhetoric.

Babies babble, and as he grows up, he begins to talk coherently and is able to form complete sentences. When he finally steps into the world of adolescence, he begins to talk mumbo-jumbo, and nonsense because he's deluded, or simply perplexed by changes surrounding him. When he moves on, usually after making regrettable mistakes, he begins to talk sense, and he appears to be mature. When he threads to old age, his speech begins to blur, and sooner or later he won't be able to talk smoothly.

Hormones. Everybody is filled with hormones. We have more than a thousand hormones in us, and each hormones in us measured less than a green pea, possibly less, and yet it exerts big enough an influence to completely alter your lives. Certain hormones are meant to pump adrenaline, to prepare you for fight or flight situation; certain hormones prepare you for maturity, making you grow up, seeing the world from a different perspective and begins to think autonomously. Certain hormones are simply annoying. They mess with your body, they occasionally blind you, they causes you to make stupid decisions. Certain hormones are deleterious. They seep into every tissue in your bodies and release a venom that partially paralyse your immune system. They weaken it, rendering your body susceptible to infections, damages, or mutations.

I hate it when my body messes with me. It's true sometimes we simply need to be optimistic - I have been. But you've got to admit, sometimes, it just bothers you. Ya, it's simple to say "Come on! Forget it! So what if you can't do it? You have got something better in you!" No! That sentences only soothe you and momentarily convince you that it is okay. Everybody who has gone through it would realise that it's nothing but a white lie.

I have asthma. I was eight years old when I was diagnosed with it. I was young, naive, ignorant to my health, and ergo I did not know what it is. The doctor said it was mild, because I never used a spray and it never attacks. When I was in standard 4, I tried to fit in in a badminton team. That was when I realised I gasp for air pretty easily. My endurance is kinda strong - I admit, thanks to my father. He's a tough guy so I follow his steps - but I realised that my body sometimes can't hold on to it. After few months of training, I was eliminated from the team. I was melancholy for a while, but after that I moved on. I can't remember how, I just moved on.

I remembered there was once I literally choked in the class. Nobody knew, and I conjectured nobody even realised. I was crying I guess, then suddenly I couldn't breathe. I thought I was dying, but after a few seconds of struggling, I managed to breathe. You have no idea how precious I found the oxygen was. A few seconds of losing oxygen literally made you understand how one insignificant yet omnipresent thing is important to you.

Moving on to secondary school. I never got bothered much by my asthma before because I was introverted. Outdoor activities were never what I enjoyed, but I still indulged in some. I'm not a fan of games. Basketball, soccer, tennis.......I never liked them. Exception made for badminton. Badminton is different. I prefer sports or anything that tests endurance. Form 2, I joined the school marathon. It was mandatory. I didn't perform well. Form 4 I tried again, and again, I didn't do well. Form 5 I gave a last try. This time I timed my run. I took about half an hour to complete a 5 or 6km run. It was slow, very very slow. I ran for a few steps, and I stopped for air. Then I continued to run, but was forced to stop again.

You could sense the difference, you know? It's not stamina problem. You may argue that if one hasn't done some sports for a long time, his stamina deteriorates, and his endurance would falter. But if it's your body, you know it. You've got to know it, it's your body! If stamina's really the problem, then what explains my gasping for air when I simply just ran 4 stories up a block? I ran often, and I still gasped hard.

Then I got this nasty infection that kinda paralyse me for days. There was no conclusive diagnosis, but there definitely was a definite link - my asthma. Whatever it is, my asthma is linked. There were two theories: one said my asthma deteriorates when weather changed abruptly, and hence my lungs collapsed when the weather was a little biting and I would thus gasp hard. The other said an infection took control, and my asthma made my condition a little worse than it usually is. I don't care which diagnosis was more appropriate, but I was treated for both. That was the second time I was given a confirmed diagnosis for asthma. Even after 9 years, the asthma possessed me like a ghost, and I guess it'll never go away.

I never let the thought get control of me. It is true I'm bothered by it. But I stayed optimistic. The truth about life is that it is not fair. It was never fair and it'll never be. I believed there has got to be something to compensate my weakness, so I go for endurance. I know I can't perform vigorous activities - running is vigorous, because you have to breathe in a lot of air - so I opted for lighter sports, like hiking. If you're wondering how hiking is less vigorous, here's how: the move is slower, although the sports itself, overall, is more tiring and requires more strength. I begin hiking more often this year, when transport becomes convenient for me. Before I learnt to drive, transport was a hassle. Now that I can drive, I can go whenever I want.

That will be some time where even the strongest will crash. Sometimes we thought we are strong, and stay optimistic believing that the philosophy is true. But you know it isn't. Philosophy are lifeless words that are created to be pedagogical, but real life is far more complicated than what it appears to be. This is the first time, after 10 years, I give in to my asthma. I'm tired to be prohibited from runs or any activities due to it. I've decided not to bow down to it. I've missed Penang Hill climb and Penang Bridge Marathon because I knew I wasn't strong enough. Okay, transport was part of the reason, but still the main reason stays. I wanna try how I would perform if I climb the Penang Hill, so I urged my dad to bring me up there, and on first try I completed the hike in 1 hour and 20 minutes. Slow? Yup. But since it's just the first try, I'm kinda satisfied. Suddenly, a flicker of hope materialised. Perhaps I wasn't as weak as I had imagined. The time I completed each activities was long, but consider fast for even a mild asthma patient, and my muscle don't sore after each activities. In this holiday, I wanna brush up my endurance. If I can't exorcise what's possessing me, then I'm going to subdue it until I render it harmless. I'm going to prove that one day asthma patients can do vigorous activities normal people consider they can't. I do not know whether it's possible, but I'm still giving it a try. After all, that's how things once believed to be impossible are created, and world records are broken.

Friends

Jacky Lam, how long have I known you? Ok. I first met you when I was in form 1. We only met each other, bumped into each other, or nearly knocked each other on the corridor or canteen, but then we didn't know each other. I remembered form 2 was the first time you talked to me, asking me whether I could lend you a pencil. LOLLL I don't even know why I can remember this so vividly. The enigma of the brain.

Then form 3, we were placed in the same class. Before I actually talked to you, you gave me three thoughts
- you were a member of the Chinese Orchestra.
- you were the class monitor.
- you looked way too skinny and fair, which isn't a good thing.

Then we got to know each other fairly well after it. Still remember the moments we painted the class? 3A5? I wasn't there the first time you guys did it, but I was there the second and third. The second time was fun, I remembered. It was a Sunday morning. I had difficulty trying to remember who else was there, but I did remember Chia Hui, and I think Jia Chyi was there, right? The moments was....OMG....fun! That was the first time I entered a ladies' toilet!!! LOLLL!!!!

Anyway it was a fun experience. You know.....painting the class......That was the first time I touched a paint brush. I remembered we painted different parts of the wall, and at the end we didn't finish painting the wall because all the paints had been used.....and.....OMG.....we started painting a corner of the wall, and now we couldn't connect them!!!! There's a huge patch of green paint at the corner, and the rest of it were still white.....because we didn't have enough paint to paint it!!! LOLLL.

Then we ordered pizza. Lolll the pizza was nice. The third time (second for me) was rather dull because it was after activity (saturday's afternoon). I was, frankly, a bit tired, and I think you all also la hahahaha. We managed to finish painting that day, and we still ordered pizza. It was fun, painting the class.

Then PMR result - we both got 8As, and were placed in the same class!!!!! Still remember you ask Joo Phin to ask me to sit beside you?? Lolll I kinda hope you didn't regret it because I was sometimes a nuisance! Hahahahaha xDDD. Anyway form 4 was a very busy year for both of us. You had your hands on the concert, and I had mine on Maths and Science Week and Caring Week. It was probably the busiest year for the both of us. Remember how sleepy we were during Physics classes, and to remain awake we actually beat each others' legs? Loll. And remember the moments we bring keropok to schools?? LOLLL we shared with Jussine (she brought the most).

Form 5 we were in the same class again. Remembered we prayed to have GCL as our physics teacher? Loll how sad, it turned out to be CAL. We attended her first lesson, and our first impression was.....OMG! This teacher seriously can't teach! Lolll Then you later complained to GCL......remember how you whispered to her about CAL.....and then how CAL looked at you surreptitiously? Haha

Ok.......let's go on to Chua Min Huang, the annoying bastard. The first time I met you was form 3. I only saw your face and knew that you're from Chung Ling, nothing else. Form 4 was the first time we knew each other. The first impression you gave me was someone who's literally insane. An imbecile. How did we get along with each other? Seriously, I can't remember. Remember what NPL asked you? She asked "what would you do to make your wife happy?". And your response? Lolll I guess you remember. You made all of us laugh! No need reminders, I'm pretty sure how you abuse your hand sanitiser. The moment when Raymond threw your hand sanitiser out of the window.......I guess I could never forget that. xDDD You also laughed way too much............

And I still remember the 6 page long essay you wrote for your final year exam. Impressive. Form 4 was rather dull. It was a very long ice-breaking, and since that year was the year I absolutely despise, I can't recall much from it. Form 5's the high. First of all, you sat beside me. Kinda noisy you know? First of all, you said "FOKUS FOKUS!!!", mimicking Usha, then PLKN 空一格 15888. And....umm.....many more. Annoying Susan, I guess that's your favourite. Still remember your oral presentation? Omg. Too much hand movements - an actual clown in action! This makes me remember.....remember the time GMT asked us to do a short presentation of Sejarah? Ya, you were our presenter. Lolll remember how you presented it? EPIC!! But loll too many fabrications la! xD

Remember your little misdemeanours?? Loll....let me recall someone: you flipped through Susan's book and gleaned her age. You played with chemicals in the chemistry lab, and ended up worrying the gas released is toxic. You tried to scare CAL way too many times. You literally harassed Marissa and other girls by pulling their hairs. I enjoyed pinching you, by the way. xDDD I went to your house several times. There was once I went there to try to finish our Add.Maths project. Sorry....but I did doze off. The next day you went to school, asked me to go to your house again, but then had a bad rephrasing. Remember what you said?
"要不要睡在我的床上?"
Someone laughed!
"我请你吃sausage!"
He couldn't control anymore, burst out laughing. Umm....I think he knows who he is.

Oh? And how you began your friendly camaraderie with GMT? You still remembered? Never mind, let me tell you. It was a replacement day, GMT didn't intend to teach because drums were loud, so you began to talk to her. A lot. And she instinctly knew your father did business. Wow! Haha....loll and do you remember that you never wore Jit Sin socks on Wednesday because there's no sejarah period, but you get very unfortunately caught when you were in PS room? You hapless imbecile. Okay. My father brought you once to Carrefour and we bought a lot of chickens. I then went to your house and help you marinated them. Nice. I liked how you get paranoid about the garlic and onion. You said they didn't smell nice. Lol. I liked the moments I went to your house to make popcorn. First....it failed....too oily....Second time....it failed again....and A FIRE BROKE OUT!!!! LOLLLLL!!!!!. Then luckily the third time was rather successful, except that the popcorn clumped together after the caramel hardened. Sad case.

Okay okay.....enough for you.....too long would make it way too boring.

Hi, Tung Wei Sian, aka TungTungFish. How was the name coined? Can't recall. The first time I met you was form 4. You were exceptionally tall, not many people are taller than me. Sad. And the first thing I noticed about you was your voice. Rather unique. I can't recall anything from form 4, but I do have some for form 5. Form 5 was rather sad because you were in 5S2, different class. Yet it apparently had no bearing on our friendships. You were rather quiet because you seldom joined us during recess. I remembered you said you detest badminton. You enjoyed basketball more. You invited us once to your house, remember? Haha. We, the whole group of people, were acting like little bastards. We made so much noise in the scene, and the girls screamed once when we nearly toppled the table. You were wearing a jeans, and coincidentally, Pillow was also wearing a jeans, and the others wore shorts. As a result, we suffered from mosquitoes bites, you both didn't.

Frankly, I had less moments with you. And now that you're in Germany, we literally have not contacted each other for months! I'm hoping to see you soon.

A big Hi to Eunice Tang. The first time I knew you was in Form 4. I saw you with MH quite often and later on knew that a bond exists between both of you. You were in 4S6, the class I actually preferred over mine. During form 5, you always came to my class to meet CMH. You had some difficulties during your years, I hope you realise, we'll always be there for you. We communicated with each other much more during form 5. You were involved in a science project, and so did I. Turned out we quite enjoyed it and had quite a successful result.

Your enjoyed baking, and party for sure.

I just knew you last year Pillow Tan. I remembered vividly the first time I met you: gotong-royong time, when that little bastard pointed at you and told me: This is Pillow! Lolll. I didn't know you that time and probably didn't even talk to you at all on plurk. How our friendship grows later I can't remember, but for sure Plurk's where we all gathered and had fun. We went to tungtungfish's house for a dinner night, and it so happened that you two were the only two wearing long pants and thus avoiding mosquitoes 'kisses'. I'm sure you remembered! You literally went red and speechless when we teased you.....

Early this year you've got a part-time job in Bloggers. We first flocked to your house where we saw your room. You and the others bullied me.......don't tell me you don't remember.........then you brought us to the park nearby and literally walked us into a sea of vampires. haha. We then followed you to Bloggers. Ok, truth to be told: we had lots of pranks ready for you, but since your supervisor was there we kinda endeavour not to put you in hot water. We've met several times after that, hopefully we'll meet more.

Ong Yee Von, or Ong Yee Tat? Haha I first knew you on Plurk, then only later on I knew you in person. Of all the girls I know, you are, to me, one of the rarest and most active. It's true most girls are crazy, but you're crazy in a different way. Hahaha. So rumour begins to spread when it appeared that some flames had been sparked between you and, *uh hem*, the guy. To speak the truth, whether it is genuine or phoney I have no idea. I know you've a house in Penang, which you've now sold away, and you invited all of us there once. I couldn't go due to some problems and I wish very badly I was there. Anyway, after you've left for UK I've barely contacted you. How's life there?

Hei there Phang Hui Ting, a small-looking girl but definitely not a girl one could underestimate. You've been quiet sometimes, probably busied with Orchestra things. During BBQ, I learnt that you enjoyed talking to MH's maid. You said you had some sympathy for her, and you literally talked to her for a long time. We've not been very close, except Plurk, and I have not seen you for a long time after you began your A-Level. Hope we'll stay in touch.

Jackie, I almost forget you! Haha. You're definitely a Mandarin lover. Your strong grasp of the language and obtaining A+ for Chinese in SPM proved your proficiency in the language. Like Jacky, perhaps anything that rhymes with 'Jack-gee' are cursed to be slim and can never put on weight. Both of you should put on some weight la! Too skinny, and too white le LOLL. Anyway, you've been daring. Your incredible valiance/gallantry makes you a unique girl. I remembered the time you wore boys' uniform to school. Remember what you said that time : "今天, 我是学校的hold住姐!" Something like that...Btw, you need to eat more vegetables la haha, we sort of learnt that you're not a big fan of veges. xDDD.

Mah JiaChyi, your name is spelt as a single word, is it? The first time we met was form 3. I, or you, was later arranged to sit beside you, or me, after OSH thought that our class had been too noisy and rearranging was warranted. Like all girls, you've been a little talkative - it's not bad, it's good. We painted the class once, I think. Initially we wanted to prank you by hiding the pizza we ordered, but somehow one of us couldn't subdue our enthusiasm to watch your reaction when we lied, and our lies didn't work. Haha. Form 4 we were in the same class again. Then form 5 we weren't anymore.

=======================================================================

Friends, memories fade, sadly, but I've tried to remember every bits we had. The reason I created this post is to ensure I store all memories I have. It doesn't need to be extra emotional, but what happened must be recorded unaltered, and any additional emotion, if there is any, can be added where it is appropriate. I didn't mingle with you guys very often because I was a little introverted (am probably still am) and my parents kinda prohibit me from having too much fun. But still, I tried my best. 

I typed all of these over a few months range. I started this about half a year ago and stopped halfway due to overwhelming studies, so I've just recently attempted to complete it. So you might be able to spot some language difference and style of writing. Please pardon it. 

Hope you enjoyed. =)

Strenuous

I hate my asthma. Even though I'm not dependent on drugs for breathing - it is a mild asthma I have - but it still makes me gasp for air sometimes. Running up a stairs and I'm down for air.

Because of it I've missed a lot of fun. There are lots of strenuous activities I cannot indulge in like running. I can hike, but I can't run, because running is much more vigorous than hiking. But I can run - that's the point. When I run, I run fast, The only thing that slows me down is this damn asthma!

I've tried, and still am, brushing up my endurance, but I think I'm gonna focus on strenuous activities next. Perhaps all I need is lots and lots of practice, and my asthma will go away as abruptly as it materialised. Hopefully.

Relax

I'm trying to post my stories (dull ones) chronologically, so instead of going straight to talk about how my MUET is, I'll attempt to regale you on what I did immediately after my last STPM paper.

First, I went for badminton. I've been playing a lot latterly and I seriously need to brush up my skills if my intention is to be on par with my friends. My reflexes are still slow so I guess I need to play more frequently; as for my gasping I guess I can't do much because it's a health problem, but I believe I could improve my endurance.

After badminton, I joined my classmates and other friends to have a movie in Pacific. Initially I wanted to spend the three free movie tickets I have, but since going to Sunway was inconvenient to some of my friends,  we opted for Pacific instead. We had lunch - McDonald, something I hadn't eaten much. Odd, right? Who doesn't enjoy indulging in McDonald? Perhaps I was the odd one out. Thinking back, I have always been the odd one out, haven't I?

We watched Skyfall, the latest James Bond film. I have to be frank: I've never watched a single Bond film. I have always been a Jason Bourne fan, but not Bond, or even Hunt. This Bond film was awesome. I thought it was exciting, and it certainly pumped my adrenaline. Oddly, those who had watched previous films found the film a little dull, if not filler. Maybe I should have watched the old Bonds films. Well - an activity to for my holiday.

STPM Baharu First Term: Day 3

7/11 I've got no paper to sit, since I did not study Biology. 8/11 was the last day and we had only one paper to nail: Chemistry, an awful paper. I'll just cut to the chase: the paper was average. Pretty tough but very much less abominable than Physics and PA. Objective questions were, thankfully, less complicated than past years. Subjective questions were a little confusing but still okay. Essay was the tough part. I had difficulty in answering the second question on VESPR theory. Overall, the paper was average, for MPM thankfully showed some mercy, but I don't expect a great result either.

Anyway, since this was the last paper, the end of it marked the end of the first semester. It ended quite horrendously, and I do not know how I would fair in the next two semesters. I wouldn't want to think about it yet - I've got 7 weeks of holidays ahead of me and I wouldn't want to blight it with surreal thoughts on the foreboding future.

STPM Baharu First Term: Day 2

There are two papers I have to sit today: Physics, and Mathematics T. Nightmarish, you might think? You're right. Physics alone is going to drain your brain, but after that you've to sit for another brain-drilling paper.

First paper of the day was Physics, and the paper was horrible. We are given 1 hour and 30 minutes only to complete 15 objectives, 2 structures, and 2 essays. And as anyone who has a logical mind could have thought, it isn't enough. And it really isn't. I failed to complete the paper in time, leaving one subquestion blank. Objective questions were fine, though a bit challenging. Subjectives were tough. Essays were worse. The moment I saw question 20 about gravitation, I skipped it immediately, and opted for Kinematics and Thermodynamics instead. What frustrated me was that Torque and Kinetic Theory of Gases didn't come out in Section C. I was more prepared for these two. Well, this paper was badly done, and many, like me, failed to complete it in time.

Second paper of the day was Mathematics T, a horrible paper but very much better than Physics and perhaps Pengajian Am. First of all, the questions that came out were, like PA, rather insignificant and weird. The one on A.P and G.P was something new for me and it discombobulated me momentarily. The function graph was simple, although anyone who didn't read the question carefully would have drawn a wrong one. Matrix was ok, but the one that asked about how many solutions were very very insignificant. I thought elementary row operation or Gaussian would be asked, but neither came out. Complex number was fine, although I expected the questions to find the roots of a complex number using De Moivre's Theorem, but still it was ok.

Question 5 was shit. Chords and tangents have been removed from our syllabus and yet it came out in our exam paper. Worst thing is this question allocates 10 marks out of total 60. MPM should have a serious discussion and thread carefully with their next move. Coming out a question in this major exam that's out of our syllabus has already angered many people. Question 6 on Vector was very much simpler than what we have thought. Section B was ok. The one on polynomial was very easy. The one on vector would be tougher. Since we only needed to answer one, I chose polynomial.

Out of 60 marks, because of question 5, I've lost 10 marks, and 2 more for A.P, 2 for vector. There may be more careless mistakes since I did not have enough time to check my answers. I definitely wouldn't get an A for my Maths and Physics, but hopefully I will get at least a B. I guess I'll see about it next year. =)

STPM Baharu First Term, Day 1

So today is the first day for our first term exam : STPM Baharu. And since we are the first batch, it also signifies that we are the first batch of students sitting for the new paper. Let's go straight to the point.

Section A objective is rather easy. There are about 2 or 3 questions that I can't answer, but overall it's ok. Section B subjective is the worst part. There are only 4 subjectives, and I can only answer one. The questions are way too weird and insignificant to be even expected to be asked.

Here are the questions (rephrased):

1) Bagaimanakah seorang tertuduh boleh dihadapkan ke mahkamah? (4m)
2) Senaraikan tiga elemen penting dalam pelaksanaan Pilihan Raya (3m)
3) Nyatakan 4 fungsi MAMPU. (4m)
4) Dalam perkara apakah perlu Pihak Berkuasa Tempatan merujuk kepada Kerajaan Negeri semasa membuat pertimbangan?

Essay questions were tough as well. Hot topics didn't come out, and the three that came out were very challenging if you didn't read before.

Here are the questions: Upper 6 students who are sitting for Pengajian Am next week can take a look:

1) Kebaikan Pelaksanaan Penetapan Gaji Minimum.

2) Kepentingan Warisan Budaya dan usaha-usaha untuk memartabatkannya. (Sorry but I don't exactly remember the questions. It's about warisan budaya, that's for sure)

3) Sebab Malaysia terkenal dengan barangan kraftangan dan usaha-usaha untuk memajukan industri kraftangan menjadi industri skala besar yang dapat menyumbang kepada ekonomi negara. 


These are the three titles.

The good news is, I finally managed to finish all these questions (15 objectives, 4 structures, and 2 essays) in 1 hour and 55 minutes. 5 minutes before we handed in the paper.

Seriously, 2 hours to complete the question paper is really not enough!!!

MUET

The school made it compulsory for us to take MUET test at the end of the year. Speaking always comes first, because it takes time to sort everything out. After arrangement, only 9 out of 200+ students had to sit for the speaking test on 22/10, few days later than the other students. So sad.

22/10. Mine was the first group, together with TCL, TSK and TZX. Before that, 11 of us (including 2 who had left the school) had to gather at an isolation room so that any leakage could be prevented. Before the test commences, 11 of us made quite a noise in the room. That makes me wonder: could we possibly be the only group that is relaxed enough to make so much noise? Lolll.

Anyway, my group went in first. I'm Candidate D. Problem here is that I realised questions for Candidate D is always the toughest. And when I see the questions, my worst fear was realised: my question was indeed tough.

So here's the question (rephrased):
Newspapers play an important role in our lives.
You think that newspapers advertise goods and services.

That's for Candidate D.
And here are the questions for Candidate A, B and C:

Newspapers
report current events;
impart knowledge;
enhance language ability

See how tough my question is, if compared to others?

Anyway, it went quite smoothly. I tried not to circle around the same point but found it very hard not to do so. The points were scarce and weak, but seriously how could you expect me to give good points when I do not even agree with it to begin with?

Task A was fine. What's there to talk about when you simply pour all lies out?

Task B was where all the fun are. Discussion is engaging and what's great is you do not need to worry you've got no points to say. Once a person pioneers the discussion, the rest could either agree or disagree, and with addition of some either relevant or irrelevant points, the discussion could last longer than 10 minutes.

Anyway, it was quite fun. But I certainly do not wish to sit for it again.

Badminton

I said I have passion for it, but I realised I never know it well. I do not know the rules and the techniques. But yet it doesn't falter my passion. The fact that I do not know the rules, or that I do not even care to know about the rules, is probably due to my inner personality, one that is very disturbing and yet one that I would never ever going to get over with - refusal to abide by rules, or feeling uncomfortable having my wings clipped. That's why you'll never see my participating in any competitions. Rules make me uncomfortable, although I agree its existence is essential.

Anyway, since the group I've recently joined emphasise much on the rules and are pro players, I guess I've got to brush up myself to be on par with them. Problem is.....my health seems to restrict me a little, what should I do?  

Busy

Life's been busy for me. The imminent STPM is coming and it's rendering me listless everyday. Going to school is tiring, and now I've always been sleeping in the class, an action that I've never done before when I was in lower form. Form 6 life is tough, and very tiring.

Anyway, there are some interesting issues transpired that I wish to share for. But due to the scarcity of time and the tiredness in me, I've got to share it later. Sorry.

Starwalk

This is the first time I participated in this major event. I'll begin with the very first.

I went to Penang by a school bus arranged by my school. But here's a problem: the company that was supposed to arrange everything for us did it last minute, and hence the situation was totally chaotic. We were supposed to leave latest at 5.15am, but there was still one bus missing when it was 5.30. We were already late and the reporting time for the competition participants were already closing. Having no choice left, a teacher told us to embark other buses.

I reached there slightly late, thanks to the stupid bus company, and couldn't find the reporting centre. Luckily mine was non-competition, or else I could have cried to death. I finally found it at 6.40am, 5 minutes before it closed. The queue was so long, but there was only 4 or 5 counters. There was almost no movements within the few minutes I queued there, and when there were finally movements enough for me to walk at least 4 steps, I was literally "squeezed" out of it and was at lost at finding the counter.

I spent some time searching for the counter to get the wrist band and lucky draw coupon, only to find it late and almost closed. When I was there I got no wrist band, probably due to lack of stock, and got only a coupon. I went to the starting line realising I was very late. I didn't know how late I started, but when I phoned my friend, he was at Prangin Mall and I was at Komtar. Very far, right?

Anyway, I couldn't see my friends anywhere, so I walked quickly trying to locate any of my friends. The problem with non-competition is that majority of participants were there to saunter, they didn't want to walk fast. I wanted to walk fast, so I moved zig-zag. While doing so I had lost count on how many shoes I had stepped on or how many people I had accidentally knocked on. I'm sorry for that.

After walking for a distance, I finally met - technically, she found me - a friend of mine, who initially chided me for being slow because she was far ahead of me - and she told me the others had gone far. I walked faster than, met more friends, but still not the ones I went in search of. Finally, after walking for one hour, I reached the finishing point and met them. LOLL meeting friends at the finishing point!

Anyway, it was then I realised I started very late. They all started at 7am, and I started approximately 20 minutes later (if I wasn't mistaken, the time I started was 7.18am).

Because I walked fast (trying to find my friends), I didn't focus on the buildings around me. I had lost the golden opportunity to view the heritage buildings in Penang, but I guess it didn't matter much now.

I finished the walk in one hour (a few minutes plus) and got the certificate of participation which will grant me 14 ko-k marks. After that I was so famished, I had to eat breakfast. I first met YK, and both of us later went into Penang Times Squares which were crowded.

Words

You see, what you say or write matters a lot. It has an impact enormous enough to completely alter a person's impression on you.

A friend of mine has just got embroiled in this problem. The problem is probably because he's too bold to say it out, or perhaps he's too cynical when it comes to studying. His expressing is bad. He uses a word that isn't appropriate and many people felt patronised or insulted. This creates an uproar, and various comics are drawn and photoshopped using his pictures to put him in a bad light.

Then there comes a second sentence he writes. It's also true, but yet it's insulting, especially if we know who he refers to.

This tells us something: language is a very powerful tool. Using it wrong or inappropriately can have a very dire result.

Some things, or truths, are not meant to be expressed. They are meant to be only felt, or concealed if expressing it can negatively harm anyone. It is true most of us are quite happy most of the time, or are already extremely ebullient when we managed to scrape through only one exam, but this isn't because we are stupid - this is because we simply have lower expectation for our achievements, contrary to what you believe, because you obviously have a very high expectation and ergo, feel stress.

Life is full of joy, and it's up to you to enjoy it. There are lots of fun scattered out there, and it's up to you to find it, enjoy it, or ignore it. Having too high an expectation is harmful, because then if you don't achieve it, you get disappointed, and depression follows. Why make yourself so unhappy?

Life is full of joy. Try to enjoy it and try to lead your life a different way, then maybe you'll realise why we are so happy even though our results ain't very optimistic.

Certain things require patience and time. Trying to get hold of something on first try is pretty greedy and is not going to work. Try to be patient and take things slowly, then perhaps you'll understand why most of us do not seem to be very stressed.

Stigmatisation

Many people are stigmatised. Minorities in a group are always stigmatised. There's no denying that anything that stood out like a sore thumb in a sea of stuffs would catch your attention and, if found to be out of ordinary, treated differently. Anything odd, especially human, is stigmatised. The only difference is to what extent.

This might sound crazy, but the issues of LGBT has just caught my attention (mind you, I'm not saying I'm homo). It has been hotly debated in US and just recently, Singapore, and it's pretty hard to turn a deaf ear towards a debate like this. 

It's a sensitive issue here in my country, but like everybody else in every countries, I just hope these gays can be treated fairly. Some are homo because of hormones that they have no control over. It's biology, not psychology. Ya, I admit, some are psychology, although I don't know how, but majority sounds like biologically triggered - correct me if I'm wrong though, I've not done enough research of LGBT. 

I'm not proposing any countries in the world to legalise same sex marriage or anything concerning the priviliges of the gays, I'm just hoping every persons in the world - no matter gay, straight, bi, lesbian, retarded, deformed, mentally unsound, paralysed, mute, blind or whatnot - can be treated fairly. Stigmatisation should be eradicated. Unless they are pestilential or bestial, shunning them from our lives simply isn't fair to them. Physical or biological handicap should not distinguish a person from another.

But you may argue - life isn't fair.

Jit Sin Form 6 Closed

Due to the new policy, Jit Sin is closing down its Form 6. All lower 6 students will be sent to Junior College Seberang Perai (SMK Permatang Rawa) for a totally different system. Change of school, change of teachers, change of system. I f*cking hate this!!!!!

I'm sick of becoming a white mouse. Why does it have to be so sudden? At least allow our batch to finish in our school, would ya?

Updates
According to the latest unofficial news, we'll not be moving to Junior College next year. I'm not sure about schools in areas outside Perai Tengah, but here's how it is there: Beginning next year, SMK Permatang Rawa will stop accepting form one students. Form two students next year will be allowed to complete their studies in their schools, which means they'll graduate in the school they went in. Then, in the year 2015, all form 6 students from the area will move to the newly named Junior College. So, students of lower 6 2012 and 2013 will complete their form six lives in their respective secondary schools. If you're studying in Jit Sin, you'll finish your studies in Jit Sin. If you're studying in SMK Bukit Mertajam, you'll end your form 6 life there. That's how it works, at least that's how they unofficially state it. Lower 6 students in 2014 will probably have to move to the Junior College in 2015. But we shall wait and see, for many changes can be made in that short time. 

Big 2

Ya, I know, for someone of my age I should have learnt it years ago. The problem is, due to the age gap with my siblings and lack of passion from my sister and family, I never got a chance to learn it at all. So, since most of my friends knew the game and played it well (enjoyed it too), I learnt it online by trial and error - never read any instructions beforehand, go straight to the game, and since it's a computerised game, if I try to use cards that aren't allowed, I won't be able to discard it; if I try to use cards that are not higher, I will be halted from discarding it. Trial and error - the most amazing way one can learn everything and the most effective way one can learn from. Now, I can play it quite well, and have actually found it quite addictive. Gosh!

Trial, Day 3

The first paper was Chemistry, a tough paper for me since I've never shown a slightest interest in the subject, exacerbated by the fact that the concepts are preposterously abstract and requires great imagination to visualise what is concealed behind seemingly discombobulating diagrams that are visualised by scientists but not drawn scientifically. Unveiling it is a tedious job, and I raised my flags lots of time. Exam was definitely a merciless killer. If you don't get what you study, you don't get the marks. That simple. The relation is direct and proportional. Luckily, some of the questions in the exam were rather simple, but by "simple", complicating calculations and drawings are still needed although more disconcerting ones are not tested. Overall, the paper was quite badly done.

Second paper would be Maths.T, the awful subject that even a person who shows profound interest to the subject will loathe it to the core. My teacher showed some mercy this time by being lenient. The questions that came out were quite tough, but very much easier if compared to STPM questions. The marks that we get might need to be lowered to estimate the possible grade obtained. Anyway, careless mistakes were done by obvious stupidity, laziness dominated my brain when I slacked and refused to rack my brain when I encountered a question I believed I could solve. Overall, this day sucks.

Trial STPM, Day 2

Let's cut to the chase. The first paper was Physics. You thought with only a few theories and equations to remember, it would definitely a cinch? This paper will prove you wrong. It's hard like shit. And the questions are just weird/hard to the core. The objective questions themselves are already a killer. There were a few questions that were almost indecipherable for me. With only 1 and a half hour, I didn't manage to finish it. I don't even have the confidence to get a 50 for the paper. Second paper for the day: MUET paper 3. Only objective questions, was pretty good. The more I read the passages, the more sleepy I felt. Oddly, the paper had an incredible soporific effect, and the more you read it, the more you had to fight off the sleepiness in you. Overall, an okay paper.

Trial STPM, Day 1

This year I'll sit for my exam in the hall, again. Let's go straight to the point.

The first paper is the relatively unimportant paper - Pengajian Am, a paper I don't really care much about the marks but do care about the content. What you study is actually very interesting but unfortunately too hard to remember. Given with only a mere 2 hours to complete 15 objectives, 4 structures, and 2 long essays, most of us couldn't complete it in time. Objectives were fine, so were subjective, but essay was a problem. I haven't written an essay for more than 9 months!!!!! I managed to finish writing 2 just in time, but ended up writing one wrong because I was too agitated. ==

Second paper of the day was Muet Paper 4: writing. It's fine, although I haven't done an exercise on either parts. I'm not quite sure whether I did the first part correctly, but I guess it doesn't matter now. Second part was ok. Still the old thing - I hate factual essays.