Tired. Just Plain Tired

You want to know why I sometimes avoid dealing with people?

I'll tell you why.

In my house, there is one parent who is extremely anti-social and ridiculously conservative. This person refuses to go out and be part of this evolving society, so this person enclosed himself within this house so tightly this person is literally ignorant of what is happening outside. This person is extremely cynical, and is always doubtful of everyone, including his own family. You approach this person with a product to sell, the first thing that goes into this person's mind is that you are trying to steal this person's money. Okay, we get that every businessmen want to rip someone off, but this person takes it in an extreme way, as if you are robbing everything this person has.

This person despises everyone and is extremely judgmental. This person has a propensity to judge everything even though to an ordinary's person mind, there is nothing to judge. This person has no friends, not even close to own family. This person has very little interests. No hobby whatsoever. Whenever this person dislikes or disagrees with something, this person has a compulsive urge to force you to agree with this person. If you do things that are not to this person's liking or if this person disapproves, this person will wear you down with all sorts of lectures, criticises everything you like simply because this person doesn't like it, and spoils every mood. This person literally criticises everything. This person can find faults in anything that is seemingly perfect. This sauce is too watery. The chicken is small. The bowl is too big. Why do they use such a big bowl to serve so little portion of mee bla bla bla.

In essence, whenever I have to do something, it becomes a natural instinct for me to take this person's feeling into consideration because if this person disapproves it, I have a lecture to listen. Whenever I am happily doing something but that something isn't what this person likes, this person will start ruining everything and my mood is spoilt.

It is extremely exhausting to be subjected to repeated mood-spoiling and it is tiring to take this person's feeling into consideration whenever I have a decision to make. Even though some things is about me and has nothing to do with the said person, I have to take this person's consideration into account and it is exhausting because I feel like I have a burden and I cannot make an independent decision without fearing a backlash.

Then, this another person in my house who is extremely sentimental and extremely weak-hearted, that a criticism is always taken very badly. This person always wants to do something for other people, which I appreciate very much, but the problem is this person always oversteps the limits. I understand sometimes this person does something with great intent, but sometimes what this person does is what somebody else has clearly said they hated, but this person still does it. When that somebody else got angry, this person gets sad because this person thinks that somebody else cannot understand this person's feeling. There is a time you have to put yourself in somebody's shoes. I know you do it with good purposes, but if somebody else hates what you do and has respectfully told you so, stop doing it. Don't do it and ask why people cannot understand your feelings. Why can't you understand theirs instead? What must it always that people must understand you but you don't have for others?

Then this person is so sensitive that this person is so afraid of what people say about this person. This person is always worried about what people think of himself/herself, and this person always thinks too much to the point this person drives himself/herself to a sad mood for the rest of the day. You say good images and social pressure applies to only teenagers? No, it applies even to adults.

The consequence? Everything that I do, I must take this person's feeling into consideration as well. When this person does something wrong, I have to be very careful about how I tell it to this person. And because this person gets hurt very easily, often I have to be there to help this person go through some difficult problems. Taking care of someone who is very sensitive is extremely exhausting.

Let me say this straight: Those teenagers who are in puppy love, you make sure you straighten up your problems before you decide to get married and have children. Divorce exists because immature teenagers get married out of lust, and always "we'll deal with our difference when we get married". My parents' problems are a result of terrible marriage, which has recently shown marked improvements, but damages are already done. If you cannot get along, just break off so that nobody suffers. Most people quarrel because they have a lack of similar interests. In my family, my parents have opposing interests that conflict and are against each other. There is a presence of an opposing characters, like fire and water, instead of the common absence of overlapping interest, which makes my parents' marriage a textbook nightmare.

I am tired of always dealing with people who have to criticise everything, and I am tired of taking care of people who are easily hurt.

And that's why I avoid dealing with people. It's exhausting. I'm very, very tired now.

Despicable Me 3

Despicable Me 3 was released in Malaysia 15/6/2017, while in USA it would only be released 30/6/2017. I am a big fan of the cute yellow minions so I watched it the moment it was released. Overall, the movie is okay. It's quite entertaining. The only complaint I have is the there is too little minions. Minions don't play a major role in the movie, there are like side characters that are included in the movie simply because they were already part and parcel of the movie since the first film, and dropping them in the third movie seemed ludicrous so they introduced another storyline instead for them. 

In this movie, Gru found out he has a twin-brother, and so he travelled with Lucy to meet his twin-brother. Before that, he was fired from the FBI for failing to catch a master thief by a snappy new boss. Jobless, the minions prompted him to go back to stealing, to which he refused. And the minions ran away en masse, leaving only two loyal minions with Gru. Soon, minions and Gru will meet, but that's almost close to the end of the movie. Minions play a small role in the movie, and I hate that. 

But to be fair, the storyline on Gru and the main villain is itself quite awesome and entertaining. I personally prefer Despicable Me 2, which I think is the best, but Despicable Me 3 deserves an applause for showing that, without the minions, the animation could still charm.

Why I Am Against Idolising Celebrities

Since yesterday my Facebook feed has been flooded with news that T.O.P has slipped into coma and just today there is rumour that he is slowly losing signs of living. No, I am not a fan of K-Pop. I’ve got nothing against K-Pop, it just isn’t my cup of tea. And No, I am not a fan of T.O.P. I don’t even know what he looks like and I have not heard a single song from him.

T.O.P. slipped into a coma after an apparent drug overdose. It appeared to be a long story but the gist is that in this day and age, news on celebrities dipping themselves into a multitude of turmoil from physical violence to drug overdose have become a normalcy. T.O.P. just happens to be a well-celebrated singer who is too young to be facing death from an overdose that a lot of celebrities are struggling with and that consequently attracted attentions from the public in a way that is unprecedented.

I don’t idolise celebrities. Ya, there are a few that I quite like, and the only one I truly like and follow each album is Lady Gaga. Yup. Lady Gaga is eccentric, a human piece of oddity and was a mischievous and rebellious kid from a deeply conservative Christian family that has gained worldwide attractions by sending disturbing ripples on a global scale. But she can sing. Watch any of her live performance and you can tell she is a walking talent that can sing without any instrumental equipment or technological manipulations. That’s why I like her - I admire her talents. And that’s also why she gains respect from the entertainment industry not many could gain.

But I don’t idolise people to such a point I implore them to hold concerts in Malaysia. I don’t wish singers I like to hold autography sessions or I beg them to go on television shows or participate in reality game programmes so that I can watch them seemingly happily playing games, or to watch them seemingly enthusiastically go on certain events as an invited singer so that they can help garner audiences, or to watch them sit in an interview, answering awkward questions about questions bordering on privacy intrusion just because the fans love to hear every personal details on them, or to wish them post a picture on Instagram/Facebook on a daily basis so that I can have new posters to paste on my bedroom wall, or even so that I can, through the pictures they posted, spy on what cosmetics they are using, what food they like to eat, what brand of shirts they are wearing et cetera.

Celebrities are humans. They deserve to be treated as humans. Lots of celebrities like Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, got embroiled into troubles and drugs simply because the expectations from the public is too overwhelming and they have to sacrifice their personal lives to entertain and please their fans because of the fact that they literally live for their support. Australian singer Sia said she likes to cover her visage so that no one can recognise her so that she can appreciate her privacy. Can you blame her? How many reports have there been about celebrities’ privacy intrusion to the point restraining orders have to be issued? I used to read an article that said a Korean girl singer group has no rest, worked 365 days a year because of tight schedule. I watched an interview on Lu Yu with Hu Ge, and Hu Ge said the pressure he felt was so enormous he almost gave up and looked where he is now - he decided to get a break from the publicity and study in USA, but even while studying he is constantly spied on to the point his manager has to implore his fans to restrain themselves.

Reality game programmes have always been barrelled with allegations that everything is staged so that the audience can treat it as a genuine programme. Celebrities should deliberately lose. Celebrities should do this, or do that. Everything is allegedly staged, just so the audience would come back every week to watch the same programme - and that generates income the stations cannot resist. This gives humongous pressure on celebrities. Remember Lee Chong Wei in 2012 Olympics? Where he fell to the ground losing the potential first gold for Malaysia, and he apologised because apparently he has the hopes of Malaysians on his shoulders? He still delivered a silver, but he felt he let down Malaysians. That kind of pressure, do you think it is enjoyable?

Celebrities are human. Yes, we know you love them. We know they are why you have something to look forward to. We know they are why you can de-stress after a stressful day. But please recognise that they are humans. They have feelings. They have privacy. They, like us, need a private space of their own. If there is someone who constantly follow you everywhere and know where you go, where you live, what food you like or what shoes you wear, you would have lodged a police report claiming a stalker is tagging you. If in a job you are constantly asked to attend meetings and have piles of seamless work, you would have begged your boss to lesson your workload so that you get a room to breathe. If you go to a shopping market wanting to buy only a bread but keep getting stopped by promoters who are persistent of having you try their samples despite multiple respectful rejections, you would have got angry and probably yelled at them. Now put yourself in the celebrities' shoes, and tell me why everything you find annoying isn’t applicable to the celebrities?

Give them a break. Yes, they survive by entertaining their fans and the audiences. But they are also a living being who, like us, breathe, get tired, and are capable of feeling pressured. If you like your idols, set a boundary. Restrain yourself. You don’t want to love your idol that much, that you end up destroying their lives.

Selamat Hari Gawai

In Sarawak, on the first and second of June, the streets are damn quite, business districts seem deserted and the place seems to be in a lockdown. Fear not - it's just Hari Gawai in Sarawak. The days are as significant as CNY is to Chinese and Raya is to Malay. Okay actually the streets aren't as quite as during CNY where virtually all shops close, few shops still operate today. Anyway, Selamat Hari Gawai to all Sarawakians!