Tired. Just Plain Tired

You want to know why I sometimes avoid dealing with people?

I'll tell you why.

In my house, there is one parent who is extremely anti-social and ridiculously conservative. This person refuses to go out and be part of this evolving society, so this person enclosed himself within this house so tightly this person is literally ignorant of what is happening outside. This person is extremely cynical, and is always doubtful of everyone, including his own family. You approach this person with a product to sell, the first thing that goes into this person's mind is that you are trying to steal this person's money. Okay, we get that every businessmen want to rip someone off, but this person takes it in an extreme way, as if you are robbing everything this person has.

This person despises everyone and is extremely judgmental. This person has a propensity to judge everything even though to an ordinary's person mind, there is nothing to judge. This person has no friends, not even close to own family. This person has very little interests. No hobby whatsoever. Whenever this person dislikes or disagrees with something, this person has a compulsive urge to force you to agree with this person. If you do things that are not to this person's liking or if this person disapproves, this person will wear you down with all sorts of lectures, criticises everything you like simply because this person doesn't like it, and spoils every mood. This person literally criticises everything. This person can find faults in anything that is seemingly perfect. This sauce is too watery. The chicken is small. The bowl is too big. Why do they use such a big bowl to serve so little portion of mee bla bla bla.

In essence, whenever I have to do something, it becomes a natural instinct for me to take this person's feeling into consideration because if this person disapproves it, I have a lecture to listen. Whenever I am happily doing something but that something isn't what this person likes, this person will start ruining everything and my mood is spoilt.

It is extremely exhausting to be subjected to repeated mood-spoiling and it is tiring to take this person's feeling into consideration whenever I have a decision to make. Even though some things is about me and has nothing to do with the said person, I have to take this person's consideration into account and it is exhausting because I feel like I have a burden and I cannot make an independent decision without fearing a backlash.

Then, this another person in my house who is extremely sentimental and extremely weak-hearted, that a criticism is always taken very badly. This person always wants to do something for other people, which I appreciate very much, but the problem is this person always oversteps the limits. I understand sometimes this person does something with great intent, but sometimes what this person does is what somebody else has clearly said they hated, but this person still does it. When that somebody else got angry, this person gets sad because this person thinks that somebody else cannot understand this person's feeling. There is a time you have to put yourself in somebody's shoes. I know you do it with good purposes, but if somebody else hates what you do and has respectfully told you so, stop doing it. Don't do it and ask why people cannot understand your feelings. Why can't you understand theirs instead? What must it always that people must understand you but you don't have for others?

Then this person is so sensitive that this person is so afraid of what people say about this person. This person is always worried about what people think of himself/herself, and this person always thinks too much to the point this person drives himself/herself to a sad mood for the rest of the day. You say good images and social pressure applies to only teenagers? No, it applies even to adults.

The consequence? Everything that I do, I must take this person's feeling into consideration as well. When this person does something wrong, I have to be very careful about how I tell it to this person. And because this person gets hurt very easily, often I have to be there to help this person go through some difficult problems. Taking care of someone who is very sensitive is extremely exhausting.

Let me say this straight: Those teenagers who are in puppy love, you make sure you straighten up your problems before you decide to get married and have children. Divorce exists because immature teenagers get married out of lust, and always "we'll deal with our difference when we get married". My parents' problems are a result of terrible marriage, which has recently shown marked improvements, but damages are already done. If you cannot get along, just break off so that nobody suffers. Most people quarrel because they have a lack of similar interests. In my family, my parents have opposing interests that conflict and are against each other. There is a presence of an opposing characters, like fire and water, instead of the common absence of overlapping interest, which makes my parents' marriage a textbook nightmare.

I am tired of always dealing with people who have to criticise everything, and I am tired of taking care of people who are easily hurt.

And that's why I avoid dealing with people. It's exhausting. I'm very, very tired now.