Sehati, Sejiwa

This year, our government take the unprecedented move by saying that instead of numbering the year of Independence we have achieved, we would this year ditch that and hold only a slogan: Sehati, Sejiwa, loosely translated to "one heart, one soul", apparently attempting to signify that Malaysian races are not divided and are together at all times.

This year Merdeka is different. It is greeted by Bersih 4.0, a rally which demand clean electoral, absence of corruption and effort to be taken to curb it, greater democratic rights, for examples. Our home minister idiotically called it an illegal rally, desperately banned the official shirt for the event, and blocked websites supporting it. The more measures he took, the angrier people became, and thus the more successful the rally became.

While it's true Bersih 4.0 does not aim to topple the government, it is simply a happy coincidence that everything Bersih demands happens to be the lacking of our ruling government. In simpler term, we are indirectly asking our government to go away, as it is in sight not possible for them to correct their wrongs.

Since it is Merdeka today, I think I'm gonna openly express my love for my country here, now. I love Malaysia, and seizing this opportunity I wish to say I consequently support Bersih, for one simple reason: for a country that prides itself as a multiracial nation, it is paradoxical and hypocritical to have political parties that are race-based. BN has long outlived its relevance. Its inherit tendency to divide and conquer by politicising race and religion is no longer welcome. And because I love Malaysia, for Malaysia's future, together with yellow-shirted high spirited people, I support Bersih.

Happy Independence Day, Malaysia. I love my country, and it's why I demand our current government to go away.

Merdeka!

New Hostel

I've reached Kuching for the next semester, sadly. Weather in Kuching was bad. Few minutes before the plane touched down, I looked out the window and realised the city was enveloped in what I thought was mist as it appeared misty white. I never thought it was haze as haze usually radiated vain yellow colour. It's too bad it's haze, it means it's hot, and the air quality is bad.

My new hostel is at Tabuan Jaya, above a shop. The room is smaller than my previous hostel, the weirdest thing is my room, which is already small, has a partition. The table was initially placed in the enclosed side where there's only an electrical plug - no window, no fan, no nothing. I thought I would die.

But I moved it to the the other side, placed it beside my bed.

The kitchen is a mess but I don't care anyway - I don't use it. The great thing about this hostel is that two people share a bathroom, so yes it's a joy. Newspapers store is just right below my hostel and there are supermarkets and food courts in my area. This is the plus side.

The down side would be travel restrictions as I have to adhere to the bus schedule provided or else I would not be able to go to Swinburne.

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit down, will update later.

Chris Carter: An Evil Mind

I'm a big fan of his book. Ever since I got my hands on The Executioner years ago, I am addicted and keep buying all his books. The sixth book, An Evil Mind, was only recently released (in paperback) and I immediately bought it before it sold off. Seriously, it sold off fast. The sixth book differs immensely from his previous work as this book centres on the story telling of a killer, instead of unravelling mysterious work of a killer and its eventual capture. The killer in An Evil Mind is so far the brightest, but not the sickest. The suspense of the book lacks power, and the twists are no longer shocking. This book lacks what Chris Carter has always managed to offer. Nonetheless the book is still good. Of all six books Chris Carter has published, this is the weakest of all, but I would still say it is way above the average crime novels you can find in the bookstore. Even better than Patricia Cornwell, John Grisham or even Jeffrey Deaver.

蒙面歌王： 野草 - 《白桦林》

I must share this.

It just so happened I was boring and I was switching the television channels very randomly and chanced on this singing competition that is being held in China. It features masked singers, who are all professional singers, singing and giving their best performance to be triumphed as the "king singer" of that night.

This lady masked singer blew my mind with her song. This is authentic music. There is no electronic and artificial instruments to alter her voice. It is genuine, pure, profound sound and sparkling singing quality. This is mind blowing, and something that is rare now.

She lost the crown that night, which I find ridiculous because she is obviously much better than others. On the bright side, I get to watch her perform in the next episode! Maybe that's why people keep her and don't want her to win - they get to see her again!

Just listen to it. It will tickle all your nerves in your body.

Avicii - Waiting For Love (Lyric Video)

A rather touching music video, depicting a dog who has lost his owner and decided to search for his owner through thick and thin. And, as the title of the song may have hinted, the dog did find his owner.

马来西亚华人

偶尔地就用华文写一些东西吧。

我嫌没事做就去网上google“马来西亚华人”，结果发现到原来中国人还真的完全不了解马来西亚华人的处境。

首先我想对大陆人（虽说我知道他们根本不可能看得到因为blogger已被中国禁止）和台湾人说：请你们别叫我们马来人。我们是马来西亚华人，或大马华人。马来人是马来西亚里的一个种族，不是马来西亚人的简称。

马来西亚华文教育我想可以说是中国以外最棒的一个。我敢说马来西亚华文教育水准远远超过新加坡能提供的。很多小孩子在幼儿园就已经开始学习一些比较简单的字，上了小学开始学习阅读短篇文章，写短片作文。到了中学我们必须开始学文言文，到了高中我们采用的都是中国文章，读的都是古诗古文，学的都是名句名言。

所以马来西亚华人能够说个流利的中文，就是因为我们有个完善的华文教育。

马来西亚华文教育没有台湾和中国高，甚至还差得远呢，可是我们还是能说出一口流利的华语，写个像样的文章。毕竟我们高中的中文考试是被中国承认的。

接下来我要说别的，这是针对一些极端的马来西亚华人说的。


有时候我想说，马来西亚华人也拜托你们别太过分。别仗着能写中文的能力到中国网站发牢骚，抱怨马来西亚的政治问题要求中国人了解我们受到歧视之类的。

马来西亚华人并非华侨。我们有自己的政治，我们有自己的文化。我们国家政治的确是非常烂，可是别到外国网站投诉。第一，中国人不能做什么；第二，外国人管个屁? 各国有各做的政治问题。中国，韩国和日本的关系已经很紧绷，北韩和南韩还在冷战，台湾和中国大陆的关系也不是很理想，中国和香港更不用说。谁有时间睬你？自己国家的问题已处理不了，干嘛管外国人的事。别到外国网站丢人现眼。

最后我想对那些极端的马来西亚华人说：马来西亚华人要不要学习中文， 由不得你管。我个人和你一样希望马来西亚人能保留自己的根，提倡自己的文化，捍卫我们的语言。可是我们不是神，我们又不是全部马来西亚华文的爸妈，何必批评他们不要学习中文的人？他们不要学，那是他们的选择。你可以瞥视他们，你可以不喜欢他们，但是你没有资格和权力批评别人。人家的生活由不得你管。

Side note:
Being a Chinese in Malaysia is a blessing. Everything is a blessing and a curse as yin and yang has to be balanced, but don't be too upset of what situation you're in. Everybody in every country has something they despise, and just because other people's lives look better doesn't mean their life is good. It simply means you are tired of your current life and you crave for a change and it so happens the other people's life you witness look inviting as it is vastly different and you cannot see a tiny speck of your current mess in their's. Yes, you may give it a try and change a lifestyle by migrating, it's your choice, but don't lament too much about your current one. Your life now may be unpleasant, but don't you think it is only an insult to yourself if you deem that you cannot survive in this environment, when your parents have lived so long and yet still survived unscathed?

Emotionally Scarred

For the whole of my life, I have noticed I have distinctly different personality and character from my peers. I do not indulge in playing computer games, I show little understanding about and appreciation to technologies and I am relatively nerdy. I will put the blame on my parents, who, despite doted me with love, raised me up in an environment I find uncomfortably oppressive.

People say that one's actions do not reflect his true personality because often the way one acts is an attempt to conceal its personality by attempting to mask the void. The happier a person appears, the more injured a person's soul is. But I am different. I do not appear to be happy often, and I often sank so low before conclude I am emo-ing, which ain't entirely wrong.

Throughout my life, when I watch television drama, I have noticed I am drawn towards fictitious characters that often have deep secrets they refuse to share and have emotional scars they endeavour to hide. I am extremely sentimental and am sensitive to the slightest emotional provocation. I cry - inwardly, not showing my tears - if a character that is deeply loved in the movie dies, especially in a sacrifice. I could oddly relate the pain of losing someone, and understand the frustrations the characters felt when they try to talk to their partners but are repeatedly rejected by their loved ones.

Years of living on this planet and I started to think perhaps I should wonder why I behave why I behave. I should find out the reasons why I felt the relation, and I did. After years of deliberation, the conclusion is that, I am a severely injured guy.

I have talked about my family very much and I refuse to further discuss it. I am in a position not many people will be and I admit I am injured.

I fear love, and I don't mean romantic love, just brotherly, friendly love. I don't open up myself and I often lock myself in a virtual world by fantasising how I would be should I be in another person's shoes. I lock myself in a robust and unbreakable gaol and then I threw the key away as far as possible so that it is absolutely unreachable, and I am waiting for the day someone - not necessarily a partner, and I actually hope is a close friend - will break the gaol and free me.

Wishful thinking, I say. Because my parents couldn't and I doubt anyone else can.

The thing is, because of the situation in my family, I am on the verge of explosion. What happens in my life prompts me to not speak up to avoid confrontation - it often ends ugly - and my life experience tells me that prolonged accumulation of hard feelings will ultimately lead to ugly massive explosion that leads me to crying and momentarily mentally paralysed. I have experienced it thrice, and I really hate to experience it again.

I do not wish to hide my feelings anymore but then I do not think my friends around me would be mature enough to understand my situation as my situation is a serious case. I don't think ordinary people would be able to relate to me and would understand my predicament, or understand the magnitude of the seriousness of my suffering. I don't suffer physically, but emotionally, I am drained, and I don't know how long I could persevere.

I have been trying hard to change my way of seeing the situation, but it so far hasn't worked.

It is a hereditary family problem, I guess. My grandparents suffered much worse from the same problem, to say the truth I believe mine is much better than my grandparents'. I hope I don't carry it to next generation. I hope if I have a wife and have kids in the future (I dare not even imagine having one lest it happens to them too), they don't have to suffer like me and my grandparents' do.

It's a painful life to live. Sometimes I think this life is not worth living.

Cowardly

I'm actually a coward. I fear loneliness, but then I resist commitment. I have no desire to commit in a friendship that I build, but then I fear being ignored or feel unappreciated.

That's why I am coward. I like to express myself, but then I fear being brushed off or laughed at.

It's quite bad to be sentimental in a world where people's soul have been largely stashed away in giving space for technology immersion.

I don't know what I actually should do. I embrace my own problems, and I express myself when I need to.

To say the truth I don't even know what I want to type. I guess I just wanna express something.

Political Crisis

In recent times, Malaysians have observed some political turmoils that have severely paralysed the ruling coalition and partially fractured the ruling party. It all begins with the controversial 1MDB that has collected a significant amount of debt with a huge portion of money went unaccounted for. It arose suspicions in several political leaders and ex Prime Minister Dr. Mahathir. The controversy went aflame when Sarawak Report and an international respected newspaper, The Wall Street Journal, reported than some billions of money were mysteriously transferred into Najib's account in a very discreet way.

Najib has so far not denied receiving the money. He simply pledged that he would not use those money for personal gain. A reasonable minded person who has a decent literary qualification could easily tell that denying using the money for personal gains do not indicate or in other way eliminate the truth that he does receive the money. He might not use it for personal gain, true, but he might siphon them off for his wife or his children. Who knows? He's beating around the bush, instead of firing down all attacks.

Almost one month is gone, and yet Najib still refuses to initiate legal proceedings to WSJ which he vehemently claimed is in cathoot with the Opposition to slander him. The truth is, if you wish to clear your name, the best thing to do, naturally, is to file a legal suit. And yet he has not done that. What has he done? He removes people who disagree with him, including his long time partner Muhyiddin, simply because they could not go in agreement with him.

Media that exposes the allegation, which he so far denies but shows no proof that they are bogus, are attacked and shut down. The Edge which made 1MDB its theme has been slapped with a three month suspension with reasons people find mind-boggling. Apparently no one is able to fathom how our ministers' brain work because their reasoning makes no sense and is downright preposterous. Sarawak Report website has been blocked in Malaysia on grounds that it may threaten national security as its reports are unverified, controversial and likely to upset societal harmony.

In that case, what about Utusan Malaysia? Utusan has continuously libelled any races that is not Malay, with Chinese frequently taking the biggest blow. No one could forget its brazen front page "Apa lagi Cina mahu?" after GE13, and its insulting Ultraman cartoon when Japanese was hit by the deadly earthquake that caused a nuclear meltdown. How many times have Utusan been sued, and how many trials have they lost? Its columnist, Awang Selamat, frequently publishes columns that only raise eyebrows instead of giving inspirations. How can a newspaper like this be allowed to publish, but one which speaks for the people get suspended?

Anyone who is in disagreement with Najib naturally got cast away, and he unashamedly reshuffle the Cabinet by replacing Minister who openly criticise him and replacing the places with people who vociferously stand by him. This is Najib's problem - he thinks he rules the country, and he thinks he could control the people working under him. While it is true, he fails to remember one thing - he is elected by the people. And the people now are dissatisfied with him, incandescent with rage over his leadership especially when the economy is now fragile, with our ringgit the worst performing currency in Southeast Asia, dropping to almost a 17 year low with US dollars.

Najib may play with our politics all he wants. From my point of view, instead of criticising his action, we should also analyse why he does what he does: it's simple - he knows he is losing control, he knows he will soon lose everything he knows hold power over and he knows his followers are beginning to wake up and realise he has been betraying the country when he in fact was entrusted to rule it. The people no longer trust him. The people are angry. And when you know your position is beginning to go, you got desperate, you resort to stupid measures and you begin to make hasty and bold decisions that will not sit well with majority of people but you still do it because you are busy keeping your a*s on your seat. He knows he is timed, he knows he won't last.

GE14 will be interesting, but at the same time we will observe tight and fierce competition, with much more dirty tactics and frauds to watch out for. For the two years before that, expect abuse of power, expect wide clampdown on social media which do not side with it or in favour of the Opposition, and expect more chaos. A desperate political parties will do whatever that is necessary for its selfish gain - and whatever including the unimaginable, and expect them to tool with religion and race, because these two are the biggest weapons that could cause immediate obedience, as the consequences of politicising these two are earth shattering.