Who Am I?

Nobody knows who I really am, and I guess this applies to everyone. Nobody truly knows who you really are, and you're the only person who truly understand how your mind work and how your emotion goes. That is why when a catastrophe falls on you, everyone says you're the only person who can help yourself as you control your emotion, and if you're withdrawn it's simply impossible for anyone to approach you and minister to you, if you do not establish a connection between you and your confidant.

So who am I? I don't know. I haven't grasped on it yet. My mind is complicated, and I guess everyone else is also perplexing. There's no scientific way to actually unfold one's mind, and it's also impossible to analyse one's psychological state with psychological test that are inaccurate at best and preposterous at worst.

So how do my friends look at me?

- An extremely introverted person that occasionally sulk, or spend my time in a funk, or sometimes acting a little barmy or petulant. But generally I'm considered introverted and anti-social.

- A person who is intelligent because I do not attend tuition classes and yet have so far able to manage my result well enough to swim through an exam with satisfactory results.

- A person who rarely goes berserk but when I do, I become uncontrollable and is best avoid from.

- A person who is fraught with idiosyncrasy that is considered beyond the pale.

- A person who fails to follow the progress of technology and is lagging behind and unable to catch up with my palls who obviously have immense knowledge on the latest technology and are able to analyse the pros and cons of anything that hits the market.

The above statements are what I've learnt from my friends. They aren't my perception or written from my point of view. I'm sure that are many more negative traits I have and that nobody dares to tell me. I know I have, because I see them in me and I know I'm fraught with flaws that I'm so ashamed of and have been trying to solve but am yet unable to do so.

What are the bad traits I have that I believe nobody dares to tell me, but I realise them in me:

- Failing to cooperate with my friends because I prefer to be the one who is dominant and gives instruction, although I do not possess the capability to do so.

- A person who is hasty and occasionally foolhardy, and when I am overloaded I can't think clearly but yet still wish to solve a problem via route that will bring only harm than success.

- A person who, when disagrees with someone, will begin to split hair until a consensus is reached, and in most condition I wish him to agree with me, even if I know I have been the one who has been wrong.

- A person who is pig-headed and will rarely receive or appreciate opinions when I have made a firm decision and stated strongly I'll never change my sayings.

- A person who almost spoils everything that comes to my hand, and therefore many things in my possession are not longer in good shape.

- Easily rattle my friends' cage when I show distaste or dislike towards something I vehemently disagree or distaste, especially when it comes to a person whining about someone I regard stupid, morally wrong, or technology abusive.

- A person who seems incongruous in this century, where everything relates to the current trend is not part of  my life - or, in another way of saying, an interloper from another universe who is unable to assimilate well in this society.

So, how many have you had about me?