Goodbye 2017

2017 has been a fruitful and meaningful year for me. For I have done my internship and gained insight into an actual world of engineering. For I have begun my final year research project that delves deep into an uncertainty in the engineering world that has plagued practising engineers.

I'm one step closer to graduation - the stage of my life I have been yearning for. I can't study anymore - I'm just done studying and I, in a foreseeable future, will not pursue studying too.

Anyway, this year has been amazing. 2018 should be as interesting. Can't wait for it.

2017 ending

Well, 2017 is ending. Only 27 days left to 2018, another brand new year. If you had made a new year wish, I bet you have achieved none of them. I don't know who began the ritual to make new year resolutions for the sake of making some resolutions and put in no effort whatsoever in achieving them.

Anyway, 2018 is coming. I'm also about one year older. Time really flies very fast.

It also means one thing: I'm graduating!!!

I have been looking forward to my graduation since, literally, the beginning of my first semester in my university. After a year of working since completion of STPM, I really am in no mood to study at all. Working is not something I truly enjoy but it's something I settled with and I can't wait to go back to that life.

Looking forward to 2018!

p/s
1. My final exam ends coming Wednesday. No mood to study
2. I'm close to 24 and still single wow.

斯琴格日乐 《乌兰巴托的夜》

只能说，像斯琴格日乐用灵魂唱歌的歌手，实在是太少了。铁肺的唱将多得是，会写歌的也多的是，可是能唱得这么好听这么动魂的，屈指可数啊！

Torrential Rain in Penang

On Saturday afternoon, typhoon-like storm lashed Penang, and within hours it paralysed Penang with waist-level flood. 80% of Penang is inundated, including mainland Penang, which has so far seldom been attacked by flood of this magnitude. The storm was so strong, one and a half month amount of rain fell in a single day and the strong wind uprooted trees and roofs, displacing people and severing lots of roads.

This is a very unfortunate incident. This occurs because typhoon has landed Vietnam, and this has caused low pressure across the northern Peninsula and that brought moisture and land, thus explaining this unusual magnitude of storm. 4 people have so far been confirmed dead, and thousands, probably tens of thousands are displaced, and I can't even begin to imagine how many people's house has an unwelcome guest.

Since this is a natural phenomenon, it really is a tragedy that cannot be avoided. This need not be politicised, because it is outside the state's government control. It's also good that federal government has begun to step in to assist. Penang really appreciates the help.

I might be in Kuching, but my heart is still in Penang. Please be strong, Penang.

And by the way, all the best to all students sitting for SPM and STPM tomorrow. I know it's difficult now that Jit Sin is closed for use as evacuation centre, but please be strong and sit for it as if nothing has happened. You can do it. We have done Jit Sin proud for years, you can do it too!

Hill Slope Development?

In case you don't realise, recently a landslide struck a construction site and buried 11 people. All of them died.

It was heavily politicised, mainly because there are people who opposed the construction and now tragedy just struck at an untimely manner.

First of all, I wish to say, to those who have zero knowledge on the matter, please shut up.

It was very obvious the site was a flat land. It was not a hill-slope development. It was a development on a flat land adjacent to a hill-slope. In geotechnical engineering there is a big difference between these two. The former one should worry people, because hill-slopes are very weak, and a very robust foundation systems and slope stability mechanism have to be in place.

In the latter one, all you need is proper geotechnical work to strengthen the weaken soil of the slope.

From the site, to those in the engineering industry, it is very obvious it is a construction site tragedy. The slope failure is most likely due to professional negligence. The geotechnical engineers probably did not get sufficient soil parameters or did not make proper design.

With good geotechnical engineering, even a hill-slope development, where apartments are built literally on a hill slope, would be very safe. Obviously, geotechnical engineers of the projects did not do a good job.

It was a very tragic incident, undoubtedly, but this isn't the state government's fault. Neither is it the central government's fault. It is the engineers' fault.

So just shut up, and stop politicising it and making a fool of yourself.

Overwhelmingly Busy Life

Final year in an engineering course really is no joke. Right now I have tonnes of work to do, and to say the truth I have really reached a point where I really am tired of studying. Can't wait to graduate. I've worked quite a while and while working has its fair share of sh*t to deal with, at least I deal with people who have at least some sense of responsibility. In university, especially private one where rich people got in by money and not qualification, you'll stumble upon many people who are waiting to be fed instead of learning to fish. Just let me graduate fast, can't wait for it.

爱发呆的红骑士《一场游戏一场梦》

I don't know who is this singer. He seems aloof, withdrawn, but when he sings, he literally explodes his emotion. You can literally feel the emotion in every lyric he uttered.

Awesome. Can't wait to know who he is next week!

Massive Flood

Penang is known for its heritage and history, and these attract people because, well, they are an identity. But what people often overlook is that with heritages and histories that are left untouched, there comes an issue of maintenance and upgrades. Penang's limited space inhibits many developments. The buildings already line the roads, and hence the roads cannot be expanded, even though they were built to cater for traffic in the 1950s. And the same goes for the drainage system.

Most people do not know how drainages are designed, but as a civil engineering student, I do. Drainage aren't designed and built arbitrarily. Usually, we take the rainfall of a predetermined period (10, 20, 50, 100 years are norms) and design a drainage system that are meant to cater for it. Which means, drains aren't built to be fool-proof. They aren't built to be unassailable. If today's rain is the largest in decades, it is very likely the drain cannot cater that volume of water, and flash flood will occur.

To upgrade a drain that caters 20 years of water to 50 years of water requires a massive change in size of the drain. This will not be easy to be implemented in Penang due to its restrictive land size. Hence, other alternatives have to come in place, and these alternatives will not come cheap. Hence, the delay in Penang.

The rain on early Friday morning wreaked havoc in Penang. It was the worst flood I had seen since I was born. In Mainland Penang, where I lived, flood had not made its presence for a decade, and now it came back lurking on our roads. If Mainland Penang has flooded, then the rain must be massive, and it must have overwhelmed the drainage system. This is a natural disaster that can't be disputed. But at the same time, mitigation plans will not be carried out easily.

Penang should expect more floods. This has nothing to do with the incompetence of state government. This is a very challenging issue for the civil engineers because this is an uphill task. It costs a lot, and mitigation plans would usually cost something that stakeholders' will not surrender easily. Penang still has a long road to go in solving the water woes.

Avicii - The Days

After years since I first listened to this song, this song still rocks!

It's awesome, though so far the only Avicii song I truly like. But this song really rocks!.

FYRP

Well, time flies. And it certainly flies fast. Finishing SPM felt only like one year ago, and finishing STPM is still so fresh in my mind I can recall so many things to actually write a dedicated essay for it. I can also still feel the excitement when I first travelled alone to Kuching, only for fears to finally sink in and paralyse me to the point I almost wept myself to sleep on the first night in my hostel in Sarawak. Total foreign land. Total strange place. No relatives, no people I know. Absolutely no elements of familiarity. I was so scared, but luckily after years, I've established sort of a nest here, and Kuching has become a rather comforting place for me to call a second home.

Anyway, it's now my final year here, and of course, it means one thing: Final Year Research Project. Damn. Anyway, after years of studying civil engineering, the conclusion I can draw is that I absolutely love Structural and Geotechnical Engineering. At the same time I cannot even begin to say how much I despise Road Engineering and Hydrology. I hate them. I can do them, but I hate them. Torn between Structural and Geo, I opted for Geo, because I had my fair share of exposure to structural engineering during my internship.

My FYRP topic is basically the usage of Finite Element Modelling to design piles. Piles are a common structural element to support a structure, and though they are commonly designed and have performed their functions superbly, often they are created with unnecessary overdesign to compensate the inability to investigate the soil-structure interaction. Hence, my FYRP is to investigate the behaviour and interaction of the soil and pile. It's quite hard, actually, mainly because I am super weak in using any computer software. But, my topic is quite fun. And to say the truth: I love it. But like any other people, playing around what I should play around is fun. Doing the report is a different nightmare to tell.

Digi Sucks

My university hostel doesn't provide internet anymore as it has stopped accepting new students and there are only six students who are still living here. I have no choice but to continue by Digi Broadband that I subscribed last semester, and right now I wish to say Digi sucks to the core! The line is not stable, not working, and often just not functional. It is very difficult to use this kind of line to do my FYRP which I am doing this semester. I seriously want to switch to Maxis, but Maxis is just too damn expensive. I am not sure how Celcom would work but Celcom appears to be also very expensive. Digi is cheap, undeniable, but with cheap products come lousy quality. I won't recommend Digi to anyone. Ever.

Chris Carter's "The Caller"

Chris Carter is one of the most underrated crime novel author in the world. Any one of his novels easily beats those by Patricia Cornwell and Jeffrey Deaver. I mean, seriously, check his books' review on the internet. They are all above 4.5/5. Once you begin reading his book, there is no way you could stop. His books are about an ultra-violent crime handling unit in LAPD and the two main characters - Robert Hunter and Garcia - handle only the sickest murder cases in LA. Hence, all the murderers in his books commit highly sinful, extremely sickening and violent crime to their victims. He employed the most torturous method on earth, designed specifically to inject the greatest pain to the sufferers. What makes his books so great ain't the sickening M.O., but rather the suspense Chris Carter uses in his book. Each chapter is short - between two and six pages long - and each ends with a suspense that will make you want to keep reading. Because Chris Carter is an actual criminal analyst, he knows what he is writing, and he knows how to deliver. His books are awesome. I say if you like crime novels, you must read his book! It's highly recommended! I'll give it a solid score!

KL

I am not in the mood to say much, so I'll summarise my point: I'm happier away from my family.

And that makes a decision for me: After I graduate, I'll move to KL for work.

Some people wonder why I hate mingling with people. Try living with my parents a while, and you'll understand why I enjoy solitude for possibly eternally.

Living with them is mentally exhausting. There is a limit to how much I can endure, and I'm reaching it.

With all due respect, I love my parents. They give me shelter, they provide me with my necessities, and I'm thankful for that. I love them, and I want to stay with them.

But sometimes, it is just too tiring. Too mentally tiring.

Erica Spindler's 'The First Wife'

This is a good book. I bought this book using BB1M last year but read it only recently. The opening is a bit cliche, but the story picks up pace as it goes along, and the suspense is indeed quite good. I haven't finished a book this fast for quite a long time. Only a few authors can make me this intrigued but this previously-unknown-to-me author made me totally piqued.

Basically, this book is about a lady who marries a man in haste. When she returns to his hometown, a shantytown, she realises there is a rumour that he is suspected to be involved in a number of disappearances and the murder of his first wife. Then things happen and the truth begins to unravel. And a knock to her head when she discovers something instrumental to the case actually allows the book to be longer than it naturally needs to.

The English used in the book is rather simple, so it's good for basic learners. I think I'll be looking for her other books to buy from now on.

Little Mix - Touch

I don't show particular fancy towards Little Mix's song, but I don't know why this song has me hooked and dazzled me since I actually pay attention to it a few days ago.

I've heard this song a number of times since it was released, but I never paid attention to it until one day I decided to relax and actually listen to the music in the radio. Just suddenly, this song managed to charm me.

Internship

I have just resumed my internship this month, so I'm going to be inactive for a while.

My current internship is quite tiring. Will be off a while. Will be back soon.

Tired. Just Plain Tired

You want to know why I sometimes avoid dealing with people?

I'll tell you why.

In my house, there is one parent who is extremely anti-social and ridiculously conservative. This person refuses to go out and be part of this evolving society, so this person enclosed himself within this house so tightly this person is literally ignorant of what is happening outside. This person is extremely cynical, and is always doubtful of everyone, including his own family. You approach this person with a product to sell, the first thing that goes into this person's mind is that you are trying to steal this person's money. Okay, we get that every businessmen want to rip someone off, but this person takes it in an extreme way, as if you are robbing everything this person has.

This person despises everyone and is extremely judgmental. This person has a propensity to judge everything even though to an ordinary's person mind, there is nothing to judge. This person has no friends, not even close to own family. This person has very little interests. No hobby whatsoever. Whenever this person dislikes or disagrees with something, this person has a compulsive urge to force you to agree with this person. If you do things that are not to this person's liking or if this person disapproves, this person will wear you down with all sorts of lectures, criticises everything you like simply because this person doesn't like it, and spoils every mood. This person literally criticises everything. This person can find faults in anything that is seemingly perfect. This sauce is too watery. The chicken is small. The bowl is too big. Why do they use such a big bowl to serve so little portion of mee bla bla bla.

In essence, whenever I have to do something, it becomes a natural instinct for me to take this person's feeling into consideration because if this person disapproves it, I have a lecture to listen. Whenever I am happily doing something but that something isn't what this person likes, this person will start ruining everything and my mood is spoilt.

It is extremely exhausting to be subjected to repeated mood-spoiling and it is tiring to take this person's feeling into consideration whenever I have a decision to make. Even though some things is about me and has nothing to do with the said person, I have to take this person's consideration into account and it is exhausting because I feel like I have a burden and I cannot make an independent decision without fearing a backlash.

Then, this another person in my house who is extremely sentimental and extremely weak-hearted, that a criticism is always taken very badly. This person always wants to do something for other people, which I appreciate very much, but the problem is this person always oversteps the limits. I understand sometimes this person does something with great intent, but sometimes what this person does is what somebody else has clearly said they hated, but this person still does it. When that somebody else got angry, this person gets sad because this person thinks that somebody else cannot understand this person's feeling. There is a time you have to put yourself in somebody's shoes. I know you do it with good purposes, but if somebody else hates what you do and has respectfully told you so, stop doing it. Don't do it and ask why people cannot understand your feelings. Why can't you understand theirs instead? What must it always that people must understand you but you don't have for others?

Then this person is so sensitive that this person is so afraid of what people say about this person. This person is always worried about what people think of himself/herself, and this person always thinks too much to the point this person drives himself/herself to a sad mood for the rest of the day. You say good images and social pressure applies to only teenagers? No, it applies even to adults.

The consequence? Everything that I do, I must take this person's feeling into consideration as well. When this person does something wrong, I have to be very careful about how I tell it to this person. And because this person gets hurt very easily, often I have to be there to help this person go through some difficult problems. Taking care of someone who is very sensitive is extremely exhausting.

Let me say this straight: Those teenagers who are in puppy love, you make sure you straighten up your problems before you decide to get married and have children. Divorce exists because immature teenagers get married out of lust, and always "we'll deal with our difference when we get married". My parents' problems are a result of terrible marriage, which has recently shown marked improvements, but damages are already done. If you cannot get along, just break off so that nobody suffers. Most people quarrel because they have a lack of similar interests. In my family, my parents have opposing interests that conflict and are against each other. There is a presence of an opposing characters, like fire and water, instead of the common absence of overlapping interest, which makes my parents' marriage a textbook nightmare.

I am tired of always dealing with people who have to criticise everything, and I am tired of taking care of people who are easily hurt.

And that's why I avoid dealing with people. It's exhausting. I'm very, very tired now.

Despicable Me 3

Despicable Me 3 was released in Malaysia 15/6/2017, while in USA it would only be released 30/6/2017. I am a big fan of the cute yellow minions so I watched it the moment it was released. Overall, the movie is okay. It's quite entertaining. The only complaint I have is the there is too little minions. Minions don't play a major role in the movie, there are like side characters that are included in the movie simply because they were already part and parcel of the movie since the first film, and dropping them in the third movie seemed ludicrous so they introduced another storyline instead for them. 

In this movie, Gru found out he has a twin-brother, and so he travelled with Lucy to meet his twin-brother. Before that, he was fired from the FBI for failing to catch a master thief by a snappy new boss. Jobless, the minions prompted him to go back to stealing, to which he refused. And the minions ran away en masse, leaving only two loyal minions with Gru. Soon, minions and Gru will meet, but that's almost close to the end of the movie. Minions play a small role in the movie, and I hate that. 

But to be fair, the storyline on Gru and the main villain is itself quite awesome and entertaining. I personally prefer Despicable Me 2, which I think is the best, but Despicable Me 3 deserves an applause for showing that, without the minions, the animation could still charm.

Why I Am Against Idolising Celebrities

Since yesterday my Facebook feed has been flooded with news that T.O.P has slipped into coma and just today there is rumour that he is slowly losing signs of living. No, I am not a fan of K-Pop. I’ve got nothing against K-Pop, it just isn’t my cup of tea. And No, I am not a fan of T.O.P. I don’t even know what he looks like and I have not heard a single song from him.

T.O.P. slipped into a coma after an apparent drug overdose. It appeared to be a long story but the gist is that in this day and age, news on celebrities dipping themselves into a multitude of turmoil from physical violence to drug overdose have become a normalcy. T.O.P. just happens to be a well-celebrated singer who is too young to be facing death from an overdose that a lot of celebrities are struggling with and that consequently attracted attentions from the public in a way that is unprecedented.

I don’t idolise celebrities. Ya, there are a few that I quite like, and the only one I truly like and follow each album is Lady Gaga. Yup. Lady Gaga is eccentric, a human piece of oddity and was a mischievous and rebellious kid from a deeply conservative Christian family that has gained worldwide attractions by sending disturbing ripples on a global scale. But she can sing. Watch any of her live performance and you can tell she is a walking talent that can sing without any instrumental equipment or technological manipulations. That’s why I like her - I admire her talents. And that’s also why she gains respect from the entertainment industry not many could gain.

But I don’t idolise people to such a point I implore them to hold concerts in Malaysia. I don’t wish singers I like to hold autography sessions or I beg them to go on television shows or participate in reality game programmes so that I can watch them seemingly happily playing games, or to watch them seemingly enthusiastically go on certain events as an invited singer so that they can help garner audiences, or to watch them sit in an interview, answering awkward questions about questions bordering on privacy intrusion just because the fans love to hear every personal details on them, or to wish them post a picture on Instagram/Facebook on a daily basis so that I can have new posters to paste on my bedroom wall, or even so that I can, through the pictures they posted, spy on what cosmetics they are using, what food they like to eat, what brand of shirts they are wearing et cetera.

Celebrities are humans. They deserve to be treated as humans. Lots of celebrities like Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, got embroiled into troubles and drugs simply because the expectations from the public is too overwhelming and they have to sacrifice their personal lives to entertain and please their fans because of the fact that they literally live for their support. Australian singer Sia said she likes to cover her visage so that no one can recognise her so that she can appreciate her privacy. Can you blame her? How many reports have there been about celebrities’ privacy intrusion to the point restraining orders have to be issued? I used to read an article that said a Korean girl singer group has no rest, worked 365 days a year because of tight schedule. I watched an interview on Lu Yu with Hu Ge, and Hu Ge said the pressure he felt was so enormous he almost gave up and looked where he is now - he decided to get a break from the publicity and study in USA, but even while studying he is constantly spied on to the point his manager has to implore his fans to restrain themselves.

Reality game programmes have always been barrelled with allegations that everything is staged so that the audience can treat it as a genuine programme. Celebrities should deliberately lose. Celebrities should do this, or do that. Everything is allegedly staged, just so the audience would come back every week to watch the same programme - and that generates income the stations cannot resist. This gives humongous pressure on celebrities. Remember Lee Chong Wei in 2012 Olympics? Where he fell to the ground losing the potential first gold for Malaysia, and he apologised because apparently he has the hopes of Malaysians on his shoulders? He still delivered a silver, but he felt he let down Malaysians. That kind of pressure, do you think it is enjoyable?

Celebrities are human. Yes, we know you love them. We know they are why you have something to look forward to. We know they are why you can de-stress after a stressful day. But please recognise that they are humans. They have feelings. They have privacy. They, like us, need a private space of their own. If there is someone who constantly follow you everywhere and know where you go, where you live, what food you like or what shoes you wear, you would have lodged a police report claiming a stalker is tagging you. If in a job you are constantly asked to attend meetings and have piles of seamless work, you would have begged your boss to lesson your workload so that you get a room to breathe. If you go to a shopping market wanting to buy only a bread but keep getting stopped by promoters who are persistent of having you try their samples despite multiple respectful rejections, you would have got angry and probably yelled at them. Now put yourself in the celebrities' shoes, and tell me why everything you find annoying isn’t applicable to the celebrities?

Give them a break. Yes, they survive by entertaining their fans and the audiences. But they are also a living being who, like us, breathe, get tired, and are capable of feeling pressured. If you like your idols, set a boundary. Restrain yourself. You don’t want to love your idol that much, that you end up destroying their lives.

Selamat Hari Gawai

In Sarawak, on the first and second of June, the streets are damn quite, business districts seem deserted and the place seems to be in a lockdown. Fear not - it's just Hari Gawai in Sarawak. The days are as significant as CNY is to Chinese and Raya is to Malay. Okay actually the streets aren't as quite as during CNY where virtually all shops close, few shops still operate today. Anyway, Selamat Hari Gawai to all Sarawakians!

Digi Broadband

My hostel has no wifi for three weeks now. There is a payment dispute between the owner of my hostel and the contractor that fixes the wifi, and the contractor demands the payment to be paid before he is willing to install the ill-fated lightning-struck modem, to which the owner of my hostel appears to be reluctant to pay. Fine. So I forked out extra money to buy a broadband. Maxis is incredibly expensive, so I opted for Digi. To be honest I know nothing about quality or which is better, I just opted for the cheaper one. I wanted to be as frugal as possible, so I thought a phone-supported broadband would do. But as it turned out, my phone could not support a broadband. When I put the card in, my phone kept crashing, and a spam message called 'Class 0 Message' kept popping and I couldn't block it from infiltrating my phone. Even the phone shop workers were stymied, and they claimed they hadn't seen anything like that. Well, not having any other choices, desperate for wifi, I bought a modem that cost me RM90 more. I'm now sad. Just sad. The only thing I know now, is that I am moving out of this sad hostel next semester. P/s Digi Broadband is not bad, so far.

No Wifi

The enormous thunder in the morning on 2nd of May rather shook Kuching, and it completely destroyed my hostel's internet modem. Till today it has not yet been fixed because, as what I was told, the modem has to be sent to KL for a replacement to be received. Irresponsible. Unprofessional. Lousy service. I have no wifi for two weeks, and I can barely do any assignments in my hostel. I have to go to campus early in the morning, and go back only late at night, simply because I cannot do assignments in my room. Plus, uni is always full, it's hot when the centralised air-cond is off after 9.30pm, and it's extremely uncomfortable. This is stupid. I don't even know why I am still staying in this crappy place.

Construction Law

I'm taking Construction Law this semester. It's an elective for my programme but it's actually a Master of Construction Management unit. I am interested in law and have followed the developments of laws in Malaysia for years, but I always follow only constitutional and sometimes criminal law. Construction law overlaps very much with financial law, and is mostly about contracts, liabilities and duty of care. They are very interesting, but also very frustrating. Sometimes an issue can be argued in so many ways, I don't even know what is the legal advice I should provide in my assignment. Plus, as the unit was prepared primarily for the Master's students, it is prepared in a way that Master's students will cope with it. Here's the thing: Master's students take only 2 units per semester, but I am taking 4! It's too much work load for me at the moment. Okay, I'm exhausted. I'll worry about my assignment later.

Milo

Very recently I am obsessed with Milo. It's a chocolate drink I drank when I was little but somehow as I was growing up, I stopped drinking. That was a time I started drinking it with milk, but then again I fell out of the habit. Two months ago when I was sick I thought drinking Milo while suffering from a fever seemed endearing, so I bought 3-in-1 Milo to drink. And guess what? I started to drink it on a daily basis again. I don't know why, maybe it's just because I'm a Malaysian, and like every Malaysian, drinking Milo is a must as a Malaysian. Love the drink! The only thing I really hoped for is....please lower the price! It's quite expensive you know?

Busy Life Begins Again

It's been a while since I updated my blog. I usually make sure I update it once a week, at the minimum, but with my current workload I am unable to do so. Anyway I created this blog in 2009, and I have the intention of keeping it until I breathe in my last breath, or whatever unfortunate incident transpires that prevent me from doing so. Anyway I am taking Transport Engineering this semester, and the assignment is incredibly heavy and that makes my life incredibly hectic. I'm also taking Construction Law, an elective that requires an incredulous amount of reading and perusal of cases studies, so I really am bogged down. But, I'll be back. Will be away for a while.

The Girl with Seven Names

I am curious about the most isolated, most remote country in the world - North Korea, because people in there are seemingly living in an alternate world where the humans are behaving in an out-of-the-world manner. My curiosity peaked when Kim Jong-nam was murdered in KLIA2, and so when I saw The Girl With Seven Names, written by a North Korean defector, in MPH, I bought it despite its exorbitant price. The book is eye-opening, and the content was mind-f*cking. I cannot comprehend why North Korea could do such animalish, brutal, demoralising and demeaning to their people. North Koreans are so brainwashed that the knowledge they have defied all common logic and understanding. The dictators in North Korea would rather sacrifice the lives of 20+ million North Koreans to survive its iron-grip rule on the nation. Lee Hyeonseo is a valiant, brave girl who escaped North Korea and went through obstacles to bring her families out of that despicable nation. The book is awesome and breathtaking. I cannot actually believe that what I read was an actual happening to the girls. It must be heartbreaking and physically and psychologically tiring (to live in such fear). But all efforts have paid well. Anyway, this is a good news. Please read it if you haven't. Please read it to raise the awareness of the unparalleled human rights violation in North Korea, and please read it to spread the awareness that North Koreans need the world's help. North Koreans deserve to live as a human being with basic human rights, not to be brainwashed and become slaves of the dictator.

黃明志Namewee feat. 王力宏 Leehom Wang【漂向北方 Stranger In The North 】

I never liked Namewee. He is racist, he is uncouth, rude, insensitive and downright inconsiderate to the people, and just because I am Chinese it doesn't mean I have to support a Chinese.

But seriously WTF this song is really good. So I'm sharing it. 

I think Wang Leehom gave the song some charm Namewee cannot deliver. That's why I'm breaking an exception to show some liking for his work.

Well, I'll give credit if it's due, and here's my credit to a good written and well-sung song. Lyrics is meaningful and song is nice.

Some Things About Me

A lot of my friends have got into a romantic relationship. Some are so infatuated they keep sharing their sweet photos on social media. Good for them, honestly deep down in my heart I really feel good for them.

But here comes something I do not like: a lot of them are asking why am I still single.

Like I have mentioned many times, I am single because I choose to. The thing is, I am independent. I am strongly independent and I like feeling independent. I like time for myself, and I have strong principles that I strictly adhere to regardless of what situations I am in. I think that's beneficial in some sense, but sometimes it may be obstructing me from socialising.

I am independent, and I say that because I do not like to depend on others and I mean it. I rarely ask for favours unless I have to do something I know I have no capability doing it. For example if I need to go someplace and if I don't have a car, if I think I can walk there, then I'll walk there, no matter what kind of situation it is.

When I get sick or injured, instead of most people who actually ask for helps from friends, my natural instinct is to clean up my injury or see a doctor myself and that includes if I need to walk a distance to a clinic even though I am feeling very unwell (and that's what I really did just two weeks ago. I was really feeling bad, very high fever, and yet I walk at noon to a clinic). It is not my natural response to reach out for help from friends or families, it never even cross my mind to do that, and I don't normally tell them if I am sick or injured. My first instinct is to rest and sleep and tell them only after I get well.

This is weird. Because if the case were to be reversed, I would want to know if my friends are sick or injured and I would like to help. I don't know why but I just feel weird if people actually care for me.

To be honest, and I have been very afraid and embarrassed of saying this out loud, I feel really odd to be a centre of someone's life. I feel weird to be appreciated. I feel weird to be loved. I don't get these from my parents. Well, I have a complicated family background. It's just, to say the truth, I feel weird to be loved, but I have no difficulty loving everyone in my life, because I growing up taking care of someone, I didn't grow up being actually taken care of. I'm not suggesting I am abused while I was a kid - like I said, long story, complicated background. Don't get me wrong - I love my parents very much, but it's the way they love me that probably shaped who I am today. I love it when I can make people smile, I love it if I can make a sad person happy, but I feel weird if people make me smile when I am sad. Partly because I never reach out to people when I am sad so I have no idea how being made happy feels like.

So if I ever fall into a relationship I really cannot foresee that I'll be the initiator.

I like time for myself because I am a person with multiple interests. There are a lot of things I would like to do, and sometimes if I am ask to choose between doing things I like at home and going out, I choose the former. I know it's bad but I don't know why I just like doing what I like doing.

Another thing is that you've got to know - I am independent, and the consequence is that I do not like to be financially dependent on my parents, which means I do not like spending my parents' money on unnecessary stuffs and I am strict in what I consider "unnecessary". Things I consider unnecessary are really basically what I considered non-essential in living - and that includes entertainment like going out for a movie or for some high-class meals. I restrict myself to indulge in those entertainments only a number of times, and I am strong at resisting temptation. I mean that.

Once I get to earn my own money, like I did every time I took a part time job in the past, then yes I am happy to splash that money on entertainments.

This is just me. I am independent. And I enjoy being independent.

So you see, spending money on girls to gain their attractions is a big no from me - if a girl fancies material stuffs then I do not like that girl because I do not like people who are materialistic - and I am strict in how I consider one is materialistic.

I am no willing to spend money on entertainments and movies just so that I can go near some girls and possibly gain their attraction. And I'm not worried about not getting a girlfriend if I don't do these because, like I said, my priority is different. Getting a girlfriend really isn't a priority for me.

So don't ask me again why I am single. I am single by choice. And I am single for reasons I stated above.

I don't intend to change myself because I cannot see that I am wrong. I am happy doing what I am doing and if I want a girlfriend I'll patiently wait for a girl who can understand me - who appreciates me for who I am. I am not willing to change myself to get a girlfriend (sure, I'll change myself if it's my bad habits, but I'm not changing my behaviour to be compromising when I don't see anything wrong with myself).

I'll wait patiently for my other half to enter my life. And if she never would then that's a faith that I can accept for now.

I am reminded of what a celebrity said on a television: “我觉得一个人太久没谈恋爱了会忘记怎么去谈恋爱，因为日子久了，单身久了，就不懂得为什么我必须去和别人妥协，去和别人忍让，去接受一个人的不好或者为了一个人改变自己。” Obviously the first part doesn't apply to me because I have no past romantic relationships, but I can fully relate the second half. I think I just have a different take on romantic relationships than most people, but whether it is good for me or not I sincerely do not know.

I don't know whether I become what I am because of my family background. I think it's possible and highly likely considering my sister appears to share a similar stance with me and she also is similarly single. But I guess - I have to do what makes me happy.

The Girl On The Train

It has been a while since I am so engrossed in a novel. I know it's not a new novel but I didn't realise it was a hit until the movie went on screen only a year after the novel was published. So I bought a copy of it using BB1M last year, but put it aside for a considerable amount of time due to lack of free time to enjoy myself. So I started reading it at the beginning of this new semester, and within days I finished the book. It's fast for my speed, because I am mostly busy with a lot of other stuff. The use of unreliable narrator is awesome. Novel like this is hard to come by, and I haven't read one since The Time Traveller's Wife, another extremely awesome book that, if you haven't read it, I strongly recommend you to grab a copy and read it. Trust me, it's awesome. The suspense in The Girl on the Train isn't the strongest I've ever read (the champion still goes to all of Chris Carter's novels and at current rate it's comfortably sitting at number 1 with the number 2 lagging behind at a humongous distance), but it's good enough to keep me wanting to know what happens next. It's an awesome novel, and I hope novels like this could be published more.

New Semester

The next semester has begun, and so far it seems quite okay even though I have been pre-warned that this semester is going to be very heavy. I'm taking four units as usual, but one of them is a Master Course unit which I am taking as an elective. It's Construction Law, and so far it seems okay because it is not an engineering unit but a management unit, which means that it should be more on reading and reviewing than calculating and designing. I'm also taking Geomechanics, the long-due unit on foundation design. So far it's all about rocks, and the only question I have in my mind is: Why the hell are there people who are interested in rocks? Transport Engineering is boring, but since it's supposed to be harder than Road Engineering, the prerequisite unit which I took last semester and was hellish, I do not expect it to be any much better this semester. Structural Design of Low Rise Buildings focuses on timber and masonry units, and since the assignments are not as heavy load as Design of Concrete Structures and Design of Steel Structures, I guess I can cope with it. Anyway, another phase of no-life begins.

Lady Gaga - John Wayne

Probably a bit late to share this.

Lady Gaga is back on her wild side with this new video! It's kinda disturbing actually, but there's some artistic feel in it that makes this video so mesmerising.

Not her best song from Joanne (prefer A-Yo and Perfect Illusion), but not a bad one.

End of Internship, Phase 1

I've just ended 11 weeks of internship that's part of my course's requirement. My university actually requires 12 weeks, but it doesn't offer that long of a semester break so I've got to split my internship to two periods, and thus the title. I'm bound by a confidentiality agreement, and I do not feel comfortable revealing what company I worked at for multiple reasons. All I can say is that the company is severely understaffed due to the management's lack of appreciation for its employees' effort. I was an intern and I had to do overtime on a daily basis. I'm tired. I'm paid only RM500/month and working that hard isn't really satisfying for me because I have worked much less for much more money. But I can cope with it. The job itself is ridiculously busy, but that is expected. However, the way the company runs the projects is a question of the company's quality. Anyway, I just ended my internship yesterday, and I'm flying to Kuching tomorrow. My next semester commences next Monday, so I've got no time to catch a breath. I'm quite tired at the moment. But, life goes on, right?

Employers Should Start Changing Their Attitude If They Want To Keep Up With Time

I know a lot of people grumble about fresh graduates. A lot of them are incapable of providing anything beneficial to the company at the beginning stage and yet they demand immediate rewards and demand unrealistic stuffs from the company. I now live amongst them and I can testify that is true and not at all exaggerated. Fresh graduates nowadays are not committed and are impatient.

But I think it's unfair to blame entirely on the fresh graduates' attitudes.

Have employers given themselves a reflection?

Sometimes there are employers who are acting as if the employees need the company, and they can oppress them and start exerting control and act as if they are afraid nobody knows they're the boss and start throwing attitude at all their employees to ensure their control is in check. I know the employees need the job, I wouldn't deny that. But bear in the mind the company also needs the employees.

Look at the company I'm currently working in. The big boss holds a Dato title. Impressive, you might think. But given how many people and what kind of people have been bestowed the title you can hardly agree that the title now holds any significance anymore. So he's a Dato, he's the boss. And as a boss, he likes to boss around. He likes to pinpoint a lot of small stuffs that aren't wrong, but simply ain't to his liking. He has a tendency to show authority over everybody. He likes to talk in a way that shines the authoritative character in himself and thereby draws a clear boundary between a boss and an employee in a casual conversation (yet he asks himself why people appear to be "shy" to talk to him. Sorry boss people are not shy, they simply do not want to put up with your attitude).

You know what's the problem with that attitude? Yes, you're the boss. You get to boss around.

But look at your company.

You are severely understaffed. You cannot keep your employees. Your employees are slowly resigning and moving to other companies. You should ask yourself: Why have you trained so many employees to be one of the tops, only to have them resigned a few years after employment to contribute to other companies? You cannot keep your employees, and the worse thing is there aren't new ones for you to hire because people don't approach your company anymore. Look at your current employees - how many of them are senior employees who have stayed long? Look at the figure in percentage, seriously it doesn't pass a single digit.

And the consequence?

Your current employee is being overwhelmed with extra workload.

And the bigger problem?

Even though you're understaffed and cannot deal with your current mess, you keep getting new customers. You know you don't have the ability to deliver, and yet you decide to "take the job and decide the outcome later". You're stressing your employees, and effectively you are pushing them away.

They are working from early morning to midnight virtually on a daily basis to rush the work. And trust me, some are considering resigning because they don't get much benefits from being this extra busy.

Please. I don't want to reveal much here, but how can you ask them to do triple the workload and not giving anything extra in return? I know you don't. I know a lot more than you could possibly imagine.

Employers like this who demand authority and allegiance are not going to stay long. The employees must contribute to the company, yes, but it is only right for the company to reciprocate. At least recognise that they are humans who are working extra hard.

Employers like these need to start changing their attitudes.

Change of Template

It has been a while since I have changed my blog's template, and I thought it's an appropriate time to change it now considering today is the last day of CNY.

I've been quite busy recently with my internship programme. I am under a supervision of someone only 3 years older than me but extremely pro and brilliant. Being brilliant comes at a consequence: you become the dependence of your superior if time is constrained. So I've been helping him whenever I can and this has resulted my working hour to be 12 hours almost on a daily working day basis. My internship is due to end in two years, and because I am bound by a confidentiality agreement, I cannot reveal much about what I do. All I can say is that engineering life is tough. To be frank, all jobs are tough. Daily bad traffic aggravates an already stressful day. I guess I just have to get used to it. Working is tough.

Donald Trump is Playing With Fire

I once said I rather watched Najib ascending Putrajaya for another five years than to watch Donald Trump be handed with literally an almighty power that would place him one of the most powerful leader in the world. People who know me - people who know exactly how much I despise Najib - would know that statement reflects a disgust to Donald Trump that is indescribable. 

Donald Trump is a dangerous man, not because he's making rash decisions, but because he is extremely ignorant. He has no prior political experience, and giving him the highest political power is a mockery of the politics that has given United States one of the most advanced democracy in the world. He treats politics as business, but politics is no business. You cannot deal with climate change, immigration bans, and international relation as how you deal with business. This is not something "it's either you get it, or I get it". You cannot go around and negotiate and boss around like you did with your Trump business. The world is not yours. Heck, America is not yours. You are entrusted with a vested, though misplaced, power to rule the greatest country in the world, not to owe it and disregard the people's thought and do it your way. Politics doesn't work that way.

The immigration ban is outrageous and preposterous. It's a textbook-unconstitutional executive exercise that ought to be trashed and the Supreme Court of the U.S. ought to have intervened in light of gross violations. It is my belief that if the three powers have been severely tipped to an abused side, then the other side must stand up on its own accord to balance the power. If the executive branch of this government performs such a heinous act to practise barbaric discriminations on grounds of someone's figment of ludicrous imagination, then the judiciary of the country, which has sworn to protect the nation and the sanctity of the country's constitution - must intervene.

It's been only nine days, and Donald Trump has opened the gate of hell and wrecked havoc at an unparalleled level. And we are expected to see him in action for another four years. This is unacceptable. The Americans need to stand up to protect their democracy. I'm not an American, but Americans please stay strong. Donald Trump is playing with fire, and the worst part is he doesn't realise it. 

The Year of the Rooster

And so it's the time of the year again! It's the time of the year where the definition of life is simply to eat, sleep, watch tv, binge on cookies and unhealthy food that give you unnecessary calories and fats, playing, and lastly, receiving angpaus! It's basically the only time of a year you are allowed to throw away your diet in favour of health-wrecking activities. It's the year of the rooster this year, and since I was born in the year of a rooster, this is basically my year! Well, there's really nothing much about CNY this year. My cousins are all spread over the year and since my mother's side of grandparents have long joined the angels in heaven, a reunion has not been held and sibling visits have been largely limited to those who live nearby. It's just a break for me, as my family isn't exactly traditional and we do not observe strict superstitious rules other people adhere to. Well, whatever it is, it's a new year nonetheless. And most importantly, it's a break from all the busy at work! Happy Chinese New Year guys!

Revisiting High School

I went back to SMJK Jit Sin yesterday after my friend invited me to return for a visit. Things have changed a lot. The school now has its own 24 season drum society and a Chinese traditional dance team. The toilets have been upgraded. Restaurants and kopitiams outside Gate 3 have mushroomed and students are now literally spoilt with choices. Back when I was studying there barely was a shop operating outside Jit Sin. Lots of teachers have retired, and those that haven't are showing some changes - ageing. We are all ageing. Going back to my high school in 2017 wearing 2011 Graduation Year shirt just hit me how much time have elapsed. Teachers who have become my friend because I was doing temporary teaching there, thankfully, remembered me and it was always great to catch up. Time has changed. Things are different. But it always feels home at a place where it once was your home.

Penang traffic Needs A Major Overhaul

I'm currently doing my internship on Penang Island, and even though I am a Penangite, I still hate Penang traffic with every fibre of my being. I was born and grew up in Bukit Mertajam, on mainland Penang, which is quite a different world from Penang Island even though both are in Penang - the result of the geographical divide. I understand that Penang is mostly lauded for its effort in history preservation, and old buildings are preserved, well kept, maintained and protected by law. And I'm not complaining that - Penangites ought to be proud of the state's history. The problem here is, most of the roads and buildings in Penang were built a long time ago before cars were expected to be a common household item. Thus, roads are painfully narrow, buildings are close together, densely built, and constructed without parking facilities. Finding a parking is difficult most of the time. These all cause the current traffic woes in Penang because, as mentioned, roads in Penang were not built to cater to today's traffic volume, and Penang's population was never expected to increase to today's digits. Exacerbating the situation is the poor public transport system that prompts people to drive their own car. An alternative has to be proposed, and the Penang government has rightly proposed MRT, but it now has become politicised because the federal government somehow refuses to allow it. Penang's traffic is really bad. Very bad. Something has to be done. And politics should be set aside in solving the woes. Seriously, what Penang needs is a traffic overhaul. BN should stop politicising everything - you won't win back Penang whatever noise you try to make - and start acting.

A new year, another new beginning

Time really flies, doesn't it? It's the second day of 2017 today and I felt like 2015 was yesterday and a year has gone by and now it's 2017! Okay, 2016 was a sucky year. It was bad politically, socially and economically. The world got much more unrest, tension kept piling up, and the world was dealt with a number of shocking blow from Brexit to an idiot who got elected to be the most powerful person of a very powerful country. 2017 wouldn't be much better - I just have to be realistic. But I do hope 2017 could be a better year for me.

For me? Well, I just hope I can leave me comfort zone permanently so that I could get a new life. Don't get me wrong - I love my life. A little bit too much. If I keep jailing myself in my comfort zone then I'll live my routine and I wouldn't have a change of life that I've always dreamt of. And I need a change - not because I like it, but because it is necessary as I am no longer the person I was. I guess changes are off-putting, but I guess the endeavours have to be met.