Lacklustre life

My life has been lacklustre recently, the chief reason is probably because I have no interest in involving myself in some addictive computer games.

I'm involved in the Graduation Magazine. Surprise? Don't worry. I've not told anyone this. Not because I'm ashamed of joining them, I just find no reason to tell anyone.

I realise I have been isolating myself from some people recently. As for why I don't know. When I see someone, and I shall not say who, I instinctively cringe away, and I don't know why. And don't say I'm in love, because I shun both boys and girls, who are not intimately close to me.

Is it because I'm lazy to say a simple 'hello'? It's probable, considering that I know many people in school and I've no strength to wave and say 'hi' to everybody I know.

I'm having phobia recently, probably due to the involvement in the graduation magazine. I'm sentimental, easily influence by emotions around me. Anger, depression, frustration, despondent and many more emotions. Negative emotions have some bearing on me, and I can't formulate a word how.

I'm scared of losing friends, especially when I lose my friends by me unintentionally, or deliberately, drive them away. I know I'm being pessimistic, but I'm feeling this way now. Not that I despise being optimistic, but I've got to face that now or later. I choose to deal with it later, but my subconscious keeps bugging me. What should I do?

I just have two random things to talk about:
a) If you a fan of House MD, you must be intrigued by the medicine in the show. Here's an advice: if you want to learn medicine, watch season 1-3. From season 4 onwards the medicine has declined and is sloppy. Season 6 and season 7 have medicine that are almost absurd. (review by doctor)

b) I'll still finish my previous post.