House Quotes (4)

Dr. Wilson: You stole my patient.
House: You stole my guitar.
Dr. Wilson: Give him back.
House: Only when you give her back.
Dr. Wilson: It's a she?
House: Well, it's certainly not a dude.
Dr. Wilson: It's a guitar! You took a human being!
House: Now who doesn't have a sense of humor?

House: Can't take the case. I don't have a team.
Dr. Cuddy: So hire a team!
House: What for? I don't have a case!

House: And you didn't stop him. Means either you thought it was a chance worth taking, making you a hypocrite or you thought he will fail, making you a cutthroat little pixie.

House: The rest of you, 8.00am sharp. I'll be in sometime between 10 and 3.

House: You ladies have the honor to give the patient a feeding tube, discharge him, and show up for work tomorrow. The rest of you, you're a disappointment. You make me want to stop dangling.

House: Why does his lungs thing his throat is his stomach?

House: Without competition we'd all be single-cell organisms.

House: I'm going to fire the next person who asks who I'm going to fire.

Dr. Cuddy: How advanced is the pneumonia?
House: It's taking college courses.

House: Big love, have I humiliated you in the last half hour?
Cole: No.
House: Check your e-mail.

House: Have you guys heard any of my metaphors yet? Well come on, sit on grandpa's laps as I tell you how infections are criminals; immume system's the police. Seriously, Grumpy, get up here, it'll make us both happy.

House: Someone's gonna be miserable sometime. Accept it. That's how I stay so happy.

House: War doesn't end until Foreman's gone.
Dr. Cuddy: Foreman's not going anywhere.
House: And I know when my Vicodin isn't Vicodin. Do you know when your birth control pills are birth control pills?

Dr. Wilson: I was wondering when you'd grow bored of avoiding my calls.
House: Oh, I can never grow bored of ignoring you.

Dr. Terzi: John hasn't vomited in six hours.
House: What's to vomit? I'm eating his lunch.

Dr. Wilson: Of course you're type AB. Universal recipient. You take from anybody.
House: Course, you're type O, Universal donor. No wonder you're paying three alimonies.

House: Listing all the possibles causes is only impressive if you can do it reverse alphabetically.

Thirteen: Wouldn't 'no' have been a shorter answer?
House: Wouldn't you not talking make this a shorter conversation.