House Quotes (1)

Few quotes from the medical series "House" that I find extremely interesting. Some are funny, some are insulting, some are pedagogical. Either one is what makes the series successful.

Dr. Foreman: Isn't treating patients why we became doctors?
House: No, treating illnesses is why we became doctors. Treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.

Dr. Foreman: He probably just moved. Nobody stays perfectly still for their MRI.
House: Yeah, he probably got restless and shifted one hemisphere of his brain to a more comfortable position.

Dr. Wilson: You will lie, cheat and steal to get what you want, but you're incapable of kissing a little ass?
House: Well, we all have our limitations.

Dr. Cameron: Men should grow up.
House: Yeah, and dogs should stop licking themselves. It's not going to happen.

House: This ray of sunshine is Dr. Lisa Cuddy. Dr. Cuddy runs this whole hospital so unfortunately she's much too busy to deal with you. I am a board-certified diagnostician with a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology. I'm also the only doctor currently employed at this clinic who's forced to be here against his will. That is true, isn't it? But not to worry, because of most of you this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying you may see me reach of this. It's Vicodin - it's mine, you can't have any. And no, I do not have a pain-management problem, I have a pain problem. But who knows - maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me? (everyone stares) And...who would rather wait for one of the other two guys? (everyone raises their hands) Well, I'll be in Exam Room 1 if you change your mind.

House: What's wrong with her?
Dr. Cameron: Him.
House: Him, her, does it matter? Does anyone think it's a testicular problem?

House: No. There is not a thin line between love and hate. it is, in fact, a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every twenty feet between love and hate.

Dr. Wilson: I love my wife.
House: You certainly love saying it.

House: You told me you hadn't changed your diet or exercise. Were you lying?
Samantha: Lying?
House: Does your husband have high blood pressure?
Samantha: My husband?
House: Yeah, see, if you're going to repeat everything I say, this conversation's going to take twice as long.

Dr. Cuddy: When I hired you, I knew you were insane. I will continue to try and stop you from doing insane things, but once they're done....trying to convince an insane person not to do insane things is, in itself, insane. So when i hired you I also set aside $50,000 a year of legal expenses. So far you've come in under budget.

House: Go ask him what he's on. When he says nothing, have him pee in a cup.

Dr. Cameron: I apologize if I looked like we weren't devoting our full attention to your daughter, but I assure you that we...
Mrs. Simms: Oh please, save your pathetic insincerity for your boyfriend.
House: You're wrong. She is in fact pathetically sincere.

House: Even if I'm Dr. House, physician-patient confidentiality protects me from annoying conversation.

Dr. Cameron: What happens to everybody lies?
House: I was lying.