The Watcher (TV)

I know this show existed but I also knew it was controversial. With a show this hot, it's difficult to avoid spoilers, but the only spoiler I knew was that the Watcher was never identified so technically the show ended with a cliffhanger, and I absolutely despise cliffhangers, so I decided to give the show a pass. But online reviews were very split - some eulogised the show as stunning and extraordinary, while some called it mundane and lacking inspiration. I decided to give it the benefit of the doubt and watched it - and was mindblown. 

After watching the first episode, the plot became familiar to me, and that's when I realised I had read about this in an issue of Reader's Digest not that long ago. It is based on a real story, and the real culprit was never identified or caught either. Nonetheless, the show is good, the suspense is good, and the puzzles are well-crafted. The neighbours are weird. Mitch and Mo are the typical nosy, retired couples who get their noses around everywhere and mistakenly thought their seniority demands automatic respect (which obviously is never the case). There are a few other interesting characters, and the show itself is very well-plotted with seamless and finely connected puzzles. I would give the show a 8/10, although I still hate cliffhangers. But the latest news is that it has been renewed for a 2nd season. I'm not sure whether it would feature a new family or a continuation of the first season, but I'll definitely look out for it.

Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon 2022

It wasn't planned. It wasn't my initial intention. I enjoy jogging - not terribly, but it's something I like doing. So I googled for marathon in Singapore, I found SCSM which I had no prior knowledge of. I saw the price - it was rather steep, and I hesitated. Knowing any further deliberation would only end with a reluctance to act, I signed up on a whim. Recognising my limitation, I participated only 10 km run.

Runner's pack pick-up day was two days before at MBS. It was simple to retrieve the items. But what surprised me was the size of the singlet - it was terribly small and unwearable even though I picked the size I usually wear. Apparently I'm not the only one facing this as I found out later scores of people complained about it on SCSM FB page.

Never mind, I'll just run with my own singlet.

I had never participated in a marathon before, so I didn't know how it worked.

For SCSM, apparently it's principally managed electronically. The race bib contains an electronic device (a rather bulky one, not just a chip), and it's primary aim is to detect your crossing of its milestones and record the time. They are four race points - the beginning, at about 4.2km, at 7km and finally at the end.

I went alone because all my friends either found it too expensive to participate or were simply not interested. That's fine. But here's the problem - the race began at 0630. I thought I would get Grab and just went early since I was unfamiliar with the whole process and would like to give myself some time margins to explore. But Grab and Gojek were not available - no drivers were around because apparently the demand was too high.

Seeing no other option, I opened LTA app and checked when the first train began operation - it was 0525 at Marymount and 0545 at Botanic Gardens. I calculated and noted I should be able to arrive on time if I went for the train, so I proceeded to the MRT stations. It wasn't like I had other options anyway.

The Circle Line train was empty, but the Downtown Line was packed with people wearing SCSM singlet - apparently everyone was going to the marathon. And I meant packed as sardine-packed. It was crowded. Your peak hour working day kind of crowd.

Arriving at the F1 pit bull, the crowd sauntered. There were a huge crowd moving on a very narrow walkway. Traffic was insane. Thankfully, the rain that poured down earlier had stopped.

I deposited my bag and noted that it was almost around 0625. I proceeded to the starting point. But because I signed up for the E category, meaning I anticipated the time taken to complete the race to be 2 hours to 2 and a half hours and the cut-off time is 2 and a half hours, it meant I was placed at the last category. My category flagged off and ran last. It didn't disadvantage us - the electronic bib in our number bib clocked our time rather than noting our end time sequentially.

I waited for about 20 minutes before category E were flagged off. Two problems - it was too long, and I watched the sky turned from dark blue to orange (the time I began the marathon was 0655); and I regretted not going to the toilet prior and was cursing myself and hoping there were toilets on the way.

Nevertheless, as the marathon began, I must have spent the first 10 minutes or so and the first 1.5km or so trying to cut people. It astonished me that people were walking at the first 1km - I would have begun running but many people were instead strolling. Maybe they didn't participate to jog but rather to attend as a family/friend event, which is fine.

The weather was exceptionally cool and thankfully not humid, probably because of the downpour earlier. I jogged like my life depended on it because this is my first marathon and I wanted to push my limits.

The scenes were nice but I had no mood or time to appreciate it.

Well.

I realised and could feel I performed better during the marathon. Maybe it was the crowd. Maybe it was the weather. Maybe it was the route. Maybe it was the challenge. I wasn't sure what was it, but I knew I ran better.

I jogged non-stop, taking only about five minutes walk after each 2-3 kms. I did not stop for water, or toilet, or anything. I just jogged.

Though, by 8km, I was exhausted. By 9km, nearing the end, I reached a breaking point. I slowed down.

But by 9.5 km, I dashed like madness, because I could see the endpoint.

And cross I did.

It was invigorating. I finished my first 10 km. I actually never ran 10 km before. Even in my normal routine jog, the most I had ever run was 8 km.

We were given a wet towel, a banana, 100-plus, bottled water, Himalayan salt sweets and a few miscellaneous gifts and, most importantly, a finisher's medal.

The time it took me to finish it: 1:07:16. 

I targeted one hour, and I exceeded my time by seven minutes.

I think I'll try again next year. By opting for an early category and resting less, I think I could reach the target.

I'm ranked modestly in the top 30% for men in category 20-29. This will be the last year I stay in this category, and I would like to try to breach my target.

It was nice experience. Memorable in fact, so, I'll probably join again.

The only complaint: muddy field, dirtied my shoes badly. Medal engraving service had an unacceptably long queue.

Goodbye 2022

 2022 has been quite an insane year. The beginning is a far cry from the end.

Let's begin with January 2022.

What happened in January 2022?

You might think this happened last year, but this occurred in the same year: a new lockdown because of Omicron.

Yes, in January 2022, Omicron came knocking and made itself known worldwide ferociously. In Singapore, booster shots were quickly dispensed so that the population were inoculated as soon as possible.

I had my booster shot on the 6th of January.

Countries worldwide have not opened their borders. Singapore and Malaysia both were not exceptions. Barring VTL, which cost quite a fortune, we couldn't travel between both countries freely.

But things changed when Omicron had been assessed to be very mild, and the fortress erected came down by March and borders between Singapore and Malaysia were opened in April 2022.

I caught covid-19 in March 2022. It was very mild, and I had been a lot worse, so it was okay for me. I don't suffer from Long-covid, which is a plus, but that quarantine took a real toll on my wallet.

I got my Singapore PR in March 2022. I was going to ICA to sign it early, but due to unfortunate catching of covid-19, I postponed it by two weeks.

Before that, I had to do blood test, do X-rays, which, thankfully, were completed before I got my covid. And then all I needed was to reschedule and sign it at ICA at a different time. Thankfully, I managed to get it done by mid-March, although I wouldn't be able to get my physical card yet.

I went back to Penang in April 2022. For a month, after two years of separation. It was good, and I liked it. Thankfully, my company allowed me to WFH.

I got my card in May 2022, and therefore CPF. It was painful to get a smaller chunk of my salary home. And my timing was bad - it reached the annual cap-off for Medisave top-up, so I was asked - legally compelled - to top up my Medisave account by transferring a few hundreds into it.

I travelled back again in August 2022.

I attended an ex-colleague's wedding in Singapore in September 2022.

I went to Sarawak in October 2022, to attend a friend's wedding in Sarikei. That was my first time travelling to Sibu via Senai airport - and Senai airport was quite an eye-opener, I never realised there could be two gates: one for passengers with checked-in bags and one for passengers without - and then my friend picked me up from there and we travelled to Sarikei.

I haven't met them for three years. It was good catching up.

In November 2022 I travelled back home for my cousin's wedding. It was good.

This year has been very eventful.

I'm not really in a mood to elaborate here, but this year has been exceptional. I hope the new year, set to begin in a few hours, could be as eventful, but perhaps less tumultous, and probably less negative too. Now that China has relented and reopened in a rather embarrassingly hasty manner, I'm afraid it doesn't bode well for the world.

Stupid Love [Acoustic Version] - Lady Gaga

I'm pretty sure this isn't an official version. Somebody must have edited the original version by removing all the musical instruments and inserting only the piano version.

It doesn't matter. This is simply a marvellous piece of work and this version truly showcases Lady Gaga's awesome vocals.

Amazing.

Fight Song - Rachel Platten (Cover by Travis Atreo)

Not sure if I've shared this before, but this is a marvellous, the kind of acoustic, song that I'll never get tired of hearing to.

Avatar 2

 I wasn't really looking forward to it. For one, I can't really recall what happened in Avatar, so it must mean however subtly that it was not of significant interest for me. Second, too much CGIs. Third, it's freaking 3 hours long.

But my friend wanted to watch it, and I'm the kind of person who, when kickstarted something, has the compulsion to end it unless it is unbearably painful to do so (Thanks, Lost).

So we watched it on a Saturday afternoon. I watched it with a friend, and the ticket cost 2 dollars more than usual for reasons I do not know.

But long story short.

The beginning is draggy and soporific, the second half though was stunningly mesmerising and absolutely mindblowing. 

The underwater scenes make Talokan in Black Panther: Wakanda Forever looks amateurish.

The action scenes surpass almost all Marvel movies I've watched (although Gamora is on it).

The movies contain many emotions: anger, grief, cheer, hope, disappointment etc.

Without releasing too much spoilers, I would say I shed a few tears near the end. It was tragic, absolutely tragic.

Is the movie worth the money? Absolutely.

Would I recommend it? Absolutely.

Would I be eager to watch the third? I would place my money for a booking if it's allowed.

Overall, second-best film of 2022. I'm sorry, top spot is still Top Gun: Maverick for me.

It Broke My Heart

 When I was only 18, ten years ago, I asked a question, and the answer broke my heart.

I'm going to admit one thing: with everyone around me getting married, becoming a parent, or otherwise engaged, and I'm gradually becoming the only one staying single, it affects me a lot.

But the thing is, I don't know how to get a girlfriend. I'm not good at intimacy. I do not crave intimacy. 

It all boiled down to my childhood.

As you're probably aware, I never had a happy childhood. My parents did not get along well. They quarrelled a lot, very extensively.

Then their interests don't overlap - in fact, they run in opposite.

I never had a proper family outing, proper family adventure, proper family holiday, proper family occasion or celebration etc. My father did bring us to holiday but it was only for a short period.

Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, and they showered me with love.

But the lack of love between them, and the hostility they hurled at each other, deeply affected them and scarred me more than I cared to admit.

More then I realised, until I actually attempted to confront them.

Because of my childhood, I never actually understand 'love'. I never actually understand 'family'. 

Because of my childhood, I learnt to take care of myself. I learnt to be independent, to never reach out, because often reaching out to either one of my parent led to another conflict - I avoided that completely.

Because of my childhood, I never learnt to socially mingle with anyone. I shut myself in my own world.

And so, all these form who I am today.

And it has become very lonely.

I'm aware I'm a social oddity - I am an odd one out wherever I go.

My parents quarrelled so much, hurt each other so much, it reached a point where I asked my mother 'Why don't the both of you just get a divorce?'

My mother replied, it was because I was still studying.

It completely shattered my heart, and it haunts me even today.

First of all, for obvious reasons they were better off separated. It hurt me to know I was the reason they continued to hurt each other. 

It completely scarred me that I was the reason they continued to conflict. That I was the source of the discontent that dragged on for years.

Second, I was still in school. I hadn't entered university. It was too much for a youth to bear, and it was too much for me to realise it still take years for me to finish study and I would continue to be the source of their pain.

Since then, I decided shutting myself was the way to go.

Because nobody would understand, I thought.

Seriously, unless you live through it, you couldn't possibly understand how hurtful the situation was.

I did not think anybody would understand if I confess it to anybody.

I did not think anybody would take me seriously. We were just a bunch of youths.

While my peers were happily indulging in puppy loves, I was facing a broken home.

There was no way they could understand.

This is not a healthy thought, and I recognise that.

Do not worry, I am not depressed, and I am not even remotely contemplating suicide.

I am facing my inner demon, and I want to get over with. 

It's just a lot harder than I had imagined, and I really don't know how to get over it.

Maybe I should seek medical counselling.

Maybe I should confide in someone. I have never spilt this to anyone physically.

I've put on a facade of happiness and cheerfulness for very long.

It's getting tiring. Especially when I'm not - amidst the wave that everyone has finally found their love.

I need some guidance.

I need help.