Offer Some Advice?

I'm at a crossroad of my life where I do not know how to proceed.

I don't particularly hate what I am doing. I enjoy what I'm doing, it's just that it is very repetitive and there's no sense of accomplishments. I do get to learn a lot, and that's very satisfying although at the same time learning more simultaneously brings more questions and that slowly shreds my confidence layer by layer as days go by, and I also enjoy gaining knowledge. But my dilemma isn't exactly work-related, but life.

You see, I'm 26, halfway past the critical age where people cease being a teenager and identify as an adult, and yet I'm nowhere close to what I imagined I would be when I was little.

To be honest, rather naively I had imagined I would have a stable life at 26. No I do not want that now, on hindsight that was a naive thought because having a stable life at this young of an age curtails a lot of possibilities. I want there to be security, not stability. I can afford to experience some turmoil and volatility, I just need assurances that I can overcome them. I do not yet have this feeling.

Occasionally I do wish I have a partner. Everybody around me has one, but most of the time I really don't. I want there to be somebody in my life, but I'm really not interested in puppy love or those immature relationships one often has to suffer through. I just look forward to the kind of married life where one goes home and another one is at home and one only really needs each other for company. I need someone to be there but to be honest I know I can get by without one. I have never learnt to live for another person - this kind of love is incomprehensible for me. If I ever have a girlfriend it would be because I like her for who she is, it won't be because I'm lonely or that I need someone to live for. I have myself to live for and I've lots of things I still want to do so a lack of reason to live wouldn't really be something I would need to find on another person.

I want to go to someplace foreign (Singapore is overseas but doesn't quantify as 'foreign' for a Malaysian), preferably with entirely different culture, or entirely similar, and with four seasons. I've always yearned to live in either Taiwan or New Zealand and I'm actively exploring this option. But the problem is, Taiwan is a harsh place to work though a pleasant place to live and I do enjoy Taiwan. The work environment there is just insane, and I don't think I can visualise myself writing in traditional Chinese characters that also do not adopt Hanyu pinyin. But the 4 seasons there are not very harsh and liveable. New Zealand is a great place to live but not exactly a great place to work, because it is highly specialised and the knowledge there aren't exactly applicable in Malaysia/Singapore where high rise buildings are more dominant and seismic less of an emphasis. New Zealand places extra emphasis on seismic and infrastructure, two of which Malaysia isn't very appreciative of although Malaysia should be. Plus, New Zealand is too far away, and going to such a foreign country alone is not something I look forward to. Perhaps when I was younger, when I was more adventurous, it would have been very inviting for me. But now, at age 26, I would either be going there for postgraduate studies or to work, and both options are highly costly and the culture difference makes it a little prohibitive.

So you see, I don't know what to do next. I'm still in Singapore but I cannot visualise a life in Singapore because this is a city for one to work, not live. It's a city that lives on the sole purpose of a necessary survival in an ever-changing society intertwined with fast-paced globalisation. As a tiny island with nothing to offer, it hinges on what other countries need, functioning as an entrepot to import raw materials from third world countries for processing to export to first world countries. Therefore it often chokes on the fast-changing countries like USA, UK, PRC, Europe and it doesn't get space to breathe, slow down and enjoy life as people in other countries have the privilege to. In Singapore, this basic essence of life, enjoyment, does not exist, for the sole reason its existence deprives the country from the relevance it finds support onto.

What should I do next? While I do like the idea of taking a break by going into postgraduate studies, I also wish to continue writing, perhaps exploring my other hobbies: writing. Language studies sound nice. Perhaps teaching. I don't know there are a lot of things I want to do, but I just am lost on which to go for next.