The Girl with Seven Names

I am curious about the most isolated, most remote country in the world - North Korea, because people in there are seemingly living in an alternate world where the humans are behaving in an out-of-the-world manner. My curiosity peaked when Kim Jong-nam was murdered in KLIA2, and so when I saw The Girl With Seven Names, written by a North Korean defector, in MPH, I bought it despite its exorbitant price. The book is eye-opening, and the content was mind-f*cking. I cannot comprehend why North Korea could do such animalish, brutal, demoralising and demeaning to their people. North Koreans are so brainwashed that the knowledge they have defied all common logic and understanding. The dictators in North Korea would rather sacrifice the lives of 20+ million North Koreans to survive its iron-grip rule on the nation. Lee Hyeonseo is a valiant, brave girl who escaped North Korea and went through obstacles to bring her families out of that despicable nation. The book is awesome and breathtaking. I cannot actually believe that what I read was an actual happening to the girls. It must be heartbreaking and physically and psychologically tiring (to live in such fear). But all efforts have paid well. Anyway, this is a good news. Please read it if you haven't. Please read it to raise the awareness of the unparalleled human rights violation in North Korea, and please read it to spread the awareness that North Koreans need the world's help. North Koreans deserve to live as a human being with basic human rights, not to be brainwashed and become slaves of the dictator.

黃明志Namewee feat. 王力宏 Leehom Wang【漂向北方 Stranger In The North 】

I never liked Namewee. He is racist, he is uncouth, rude, insensitive and downright inconsiderate to the people, and just because I am Chinese it doesn't mean I have to support a Chinese.

But seriously WTF this song is really good. So I'm sharing it. 

I think Wang Leehom gave the song some charm Namewee cannot deliver. That's why I'm breaking an exception to show some liking for his work.

Well, I'll give credit if it's due, and here's my credit to a good written and well-sung song. Lyrics is meaningful and song is nice.

Some Things About Me

A lot of my friends have got into a romantic relationship. Some are so infatuated they keep sharing their sweet photos on social media. Good for them, honestly deep down in my heart I really feel good for them.

But here comes something I do not like: a lot of them are asking why am I still single.

Like I have mentioned many times, I am single because I choose to. The thing is, I am independent. I am strongly independent and I like feeling independent. I like time for myself, and I have strong principles that I strictly adhere to regardless of what situations I am in. I think that's beneficial in some sense, but sometimes it may be obstructing me from socialising.

I am independent, and I say that because I do not like to depend on others and I mean it. I rarely ask for favours unless I have to do something I know I have no capability doing it. For example if I need to go someplace and if I don't have a car, if I think I can walk there, then I'll walk there, no matter what kind of situation it is.

When I get sick or injured, instead of most people who actually ask for helps from friends, my natural instinct is to clean up my injury or see a doctor myself and that includes if I need to walk a distance to a clinic even though I am feeling very unwell (and that's what I really did just two weeks ago. I was really feeling bad, very high fever, and yet I walk at noon to a clinic). It is not my natural response to reach out for help from friends or families, it never even cross my mind to do that, and I don't normally tell them if I am sick or injured. My first instinct is to rest and sleep and tell them only after I get well.

This is weird. Because if the case were to be reversed, I would want to know if my friends are sick or injured and I would like to help. I don't know why but I just feel weird if people actually care for me.

To be honest, and I have been very afraid and embarrassed of saying this out loud, I feel really odd to be a centre of someone's life. I feel weird to be appreciated. I feel weird to be loved. I don't get these from my parents. Well, I have a complicated family background. It's just, to say the truth, I feel weird to be loved, but I have no difficulty loving everyone in my life, because I growing up taking care of someone, I didn't grow up being actually taken care of. I'm not suggesting I am abused while I was a kid - like I said, long story, complicated background. Don't get me wrong - I love my parents very much, but it's the way they love me that probably shaped who I am today. I love it when I can make people smile, I love it if I can make a sad person happy, but I feel weird if people make me smile when I am sad. Partly because I never reach out to people when I am sad so I have no idea how being made happy feels like.

So if I ever fall into a relationship I really cannot foresee that I'll be the initiator.

I like time for myself because I am a person with multiple interests. There are a lot of things I would like to do, and sometimes if I am ask to choose between doing things I like at home and going out, I choose the former. I know it's bad but I don't know why I just like doing what I like doing.

Another thing is that you've got to know - I am independent, and the consequence is that I do not like to be financially dependent on my parents, which means I do not like spending my parents' money on unnecessary stuffs and I am strict in what I consider "unnecessary". Things I consider unnecessary are really basically what I considered non-essential in living - and that includes entertainment like going out for a movie or for some high-class meals. I restrict myself to indulge in those entertainments only a number of times, and I am strong at resisting temptation. I mean that.

Once I get to earn my own money, like I did every time I took a part time job in the past, then yes I am happy to splash that money on entertainments.

This is just me. I am independent. And I enjoy being independent.

So you see, spending money on girls to gain their attractions is a big no from me - if a girl fancies material stuffs then I do not like that girl because I do not like people who are materialistic - and I am strict in how I consider one is materialistic.

I am no willing to spend money on entertainments and movies just so that I can go near some girls and possibly gain their attraction. And I'm not worried about not getting a girlfriend if I don't do these because, like I said, my priority is different. Getting a girlfriend really isn't a priority for me.

So don't ask me again why I am single. I am single by choice. And I am single for reasons I stated above.

I don't intend to change myself because I cannot see that I am wrong. I am happy doing what I am doing and if I want a girlfriend I'll patiently wait for a girl who can understand me - who appreciates me for who I am. I am not willing to change myself to get a girlfriend (sure, I'll change myself if it's my bad habits, but I'm not changing my behaviour to be compromising when I don't see anything wrong with myself).

I'll wait patiently for my other half to enter my life. And if she never would then that's a faith that I can accept for now.

I am reminded of what a celebrity said on a television: “我觉得一个人太久没谈恋爱了会忘记怎么去谈恋爱，因为日子久了，单身久了，就不懂得为什么我必须去和别人妥协，去和别人忍让，去接受一个人的不好或者为了一个人改变自己。” Obviously the first part doesn't apply to me because I have no past romantic relationships, but I can fully relate the second half. I think I just have a different take on romantic relationships than most people, but whether it is good for me or not I sincerely do not know.

I don't know whether I become what I am because of my family background. I think it's possible and highly likely considering my sister appears to share a similar stance with me and she also is similarly single. But I guess - I have to do what makes me happy.

The Girl On The Train

It has been a while since I am so engrossed in a novel. I know it's not a new novel but I didn't realise it was a hit until the movie went on screen only a year after the novel was published. So I bought a copy of it using BB1M last year, but put it aside for a considerable amount of time due to lack of free time to enjoy myself. So I started reading it at the beginning of this new semester, and within days I finished the book. It's fast for my speed, because I am mostly busy with a lot of other stuff. The use of unreliable narrator is awesome. Novel like this is hard to come by, and I haven't read one since The Time Traveller's Wife, another extremely awesome book that, if you haven't read it, I strongly recommend you to grab a copy and read it. Trust me, it's awesome. The suspense in The Girl on the Train isn't the strongest I've ever read (the champion still goes to all of Chris Carter's novels and at current rate it's comfortably sitting at number 1 with the number 2 lagging behind at a humongous distance), but it's good enough to keep me wanting to know what happens next. It's an awesome novel, and I hope novels like this could be published more.

New Semester

The next semester has begun, and so far it seems quite okay even though I have been pre-warned that this semester is going to be very heavy. I'm taking four units as usual, but one of them is a Master Course unit which I am taking as an elective. It's Construction Law, and so far it seems okay because it is not an engineering unit but a management unit, which means that it should be more on reading and reviewing than calculating and designing. I'm also taking Geomechanics, the long-due unit on foundation design. So far it's all about rocks, and the only question I have in my mind is: Why the hell are there people who are interested in rocks? Transport Engineering is boring, but since it's supposed to be harder than Road Engineering, the prerequisite unit which I took last semester and was hellish, I do not expect it to be any much better this semester. Structural Design of Low Rise Buildings focuses on timber and masonry units, and since the assignments are not as heavy load as Design of Concrete Structures and Design of Steel Structures, I guess I can cope with it. Anyway, another phase of no-life begins.

Lady Gaga - John Wayne

Probably a bit late to share this.

Lady Gaga is back on her wild side with this new video! It's kinda disturbing actually, but there's some artistic feel in it that makes this video so mesmerising.

Not her best song from Joanne (prefer A-Yo and Perfect Illusion), but not a bad one.