Settlement

You know, I have never thought this would occur to me at this moment, but it has.

I am an extremely lazy person who is so lazy I refuse to catch a dropping key and instead let it falls and pick it up once it hits the ground. I am lazy and also non-responsive if I deem the incident is not critical to warrant an immediate attention.

Hence when I have settled down in an environment, I refuse, and resist, any sort of changes that means I have to re-adapt a new environment. No matter how unpleasant, uncomfortable, despicable, demeaning, depressing or diabolical is the situation, once I have survived the adaptation and have adapted to it, got comfortable to it, I refuse to change, and choose instead to settle down for long and just live with it.

And this is what has happened to me. Prior to entering university I worked as a temporary teacher for almost half a year, and then I went on to become a student for 3 and a half month, and now, to gain some income, I return to the profitable job of becoming a temporary teacher. This, mathematically, effectively means I have been working as a temporary teacher much longer than being a student, and I have much made myself comfortable with my work that the notion of returning to study seems a bit repelling and alien at the moment.

While I won't see myself as a teacher for a long term, I cannot deny I am now comfortable doing it.

The only thing that concerns me is that because of my inexperience, I may not be able to help my students as best as I could. I have been incoherent, stutter at delivering teachings, and often fail to realise what my students fail to grasp, what basics they have to build. I am actually a failed teacher.

But anyway, I will try my best. Teaching has sort of become a part of my life, a part of my life I now am more comfortable living than to be a university student again.