Merry Christmas!

It seems like only a few weeks ago that I posted the last Christmas wish, and here I am now, one year later, posting another post for the 22nd Christmas I have ever got to experience. 2016 is about to end, and a new year is ushering in and somehow I just realise that time is really flying at breakneck speed. I ain't sure whether it's a good thing or a bad one - because the consensus is that if you think time really flies, it means you've lived a meaningful and eventful life while if you think time goes by slowly, it probably means you aren't enjoying your life and you probably are suffering. What I do know is that there are way too many things that I want to do, and I never have the opportunity to do all of them because of time constraints. I only have approximately 2 years left before I become fully committed to a permanent job - and that notion of being responsibility-bound terrifies me more than anything else. More than possibly leading a single life to death without anyone to turn to when I got frail and weak and needing care at old age (I have been thinking whether leading a single/girlfriend-free life is something that I want, because getting a girlfriend - which is what most guys in my age is doing - isn't something I want, isn't even in my priority list to begin with). But one thing I am sure - I enjoy my life at the moment. And I guess that is all that matters now. Merry Christmas guys!

Lady Gaga - Million Reasons

I've never exactly loved a singer, but this is an amazing singer it's hard for me to overlook.

Lady Gaga's songs are always emotional, as her songs are based on her life experience and thus the emotion displayed is always authentic and sometimes relatable. She has true voice and a true talent in singing. Yes, she had questionable ethnics, but now she's back to normal (pre-crazy Paparazzi's Lady Gaga) and she is showing the world she can shine bright without being quirky.

Great song as always Lady Gaga!

周深 《身騎白馬》

I really thought it was a lady. ==



Amazing!!!!

Seriously questioning my choice

Day by day I question my choice of choosing civil engineering.

Look, it's not that I hate civil engineering. I pretty love it. The design and the analysis of a structure is extremely tiring, but to watch all your efforts become something concrete and deliverable is exceedingly rewarding and I love it.

But there's a lack of passion.

I just don't love civil engineering as much as I love a language.

Back in 2014, I was in a dilemma. Before I officially enrolled myself into a university, I had seriously questioned myself what choice I want. The problem I was facing was the fact that I liked two distinctive subjects that do not often overlap - I love English, and yet simultaneously I love mathematics.

I like something invoking soul searching, but at the same time, I equally love doing something that gave my brain some squeezing and twisting.

I'm sentimental. I'm expressive and I am emotional to a fault. I wouldn't deny them. My sentimental personality allows me to write. Everytime I read a good article with perfect English and sound arguments, I had the motivation to make my English improve more. I just love writing. It's an expression nobody can rob away from you.

And sometimes, words can be much more powerful than every other things combined.

But I also like Maths. If I am doing Maths, I can go on for hours without rest, foregoing eating and drinking simply because I am so absorbed into Maths I have become completely impervious to what has happened around me.

Now that I'm studying Civil Engineering, I realise, while I love engineering, I don't love it as much as I love English.

My heart and soul is not with engineering. It's with writing. Because writing allows my soul to run free. It allows my emotions to take control of me (but within appropriate constraints) and it makes me feel human.

Sometimes engineering is just so technical and formulae-based, that it doesn't make me feel human.

I don't know. And to say the truth I am afraid of pondering it further.

What I do now is that, if time and finance allow, I would love to study English as well. I would love to be a part-time journalist.

At the same time, my sentimental side actually makes me love to engage in public activities - I like talking to a group of people (provided I am allowed to speak what I want, presentations are not one of them), I like to help people, and I find it rewarding to be able to contribute to people in need.

Engineering is not bad. I realise a bit too late now that it isn't my greatest passion, but I also recognise that I can no longer change my decision.

I'll find a way to carve through. I have acknowledged that I must accept what is burning inside me - a passion to write, a passion to be contributable to the society, and a passion to be someone influential.

They are my dreams. And I vow to reach them.