Competitions

Official competitions do not engage me. whether its sports, chess, or academics. To me, lots of people want to win more than to enjoy the game, and to win, they could be really, really nasty.

It wasn't a lie I made up to cover up my weakness, but its based on my past experience.

I did take part in some competitions a few years ago. I didn't participate many because I was also lazy to join any. But there was one event, not a competition but merely a game, that completely changed my perception towards competition-based games.

There was a guy, he was, and is, exceedingly good at playing chess. We were merely having fun. We were just playing a game like usual, and as an ordinary game, they would be win and defeat. In that games, I happened to defeat him once. Because he was such a great player, he didn't receive it well. Frankly speaking, it was just a game. Nothing official. Nothing serious. But when he was defeated, he received it very badly, and was quite.....angry.

He got quite angry as he lost to a person who had no training. So he forced me to play another match with him. I refused to. But he insisted, and he kept insisting me to play another match with him, and he asked me to quite publicly and loudly. I had no choice but reluctantly agreed, and didn't want to even play a serious game. So I lost the match to him, and he was finally satisfied.

Actually, even if I did play seriously, I would still lose to him. He was just too great a player who just happened to make a careless mistake and lost to me. I was, and am, not his opponent.

I remember this event screamingly vividly because this changed my view towards competitions. There are always people who want to win more than to enjoy the game. And I hated it. To me, if you wanna play a game, play happily. Win or lose, let it be. I got into so many matches in so many sorts of games, and I would unashamedly admit that I lost more than I have won, yet I have not reacted the way he had reacted. 

Competitions are good at encouraging improvement, but if to do so I have to sacrifice the joy of games, then I would prefer to withdraw myself from such competitions. A game is meant to be fun, not win. And when you have come across a player who wishes to win more than anything, it simply spoils the mood of playing a game. At least to me.

And my view stays.