Year Two, Semester One

How's my second year first semester going, you might ask? Okay, here's a summary:

COMPUTER AIDED ENGINEERING (CIVIL)

This unit is split into two: one which focuses on AutoCAD, and another which focuses on computer applications. AutoCAD so far is simple. We have to draw architectural drawing by arranging shop houses, living houses and car parks and roundabouts in a drawing plan. Quite simple but consume lots of time. Civil3D to begin soon.

Computer applications began with Spacegass, a computer programme that greatly simplifies all structural analysis. Best computer programme so far, eases our lives in university so much by allowing us to verify our hand calculated answers. Microsoft Excel comes next. I don't like Excel much but I must admit it's quite fun. Interesting unit so far.


SUSTAINABLE DESIGN

As stipulated in the name of the unit, anything in this unit has the theme of "sustainable". Swinburne is taking EWB project as a project for us. Quite annoying actually, because I hate doing research and I certainly do not like digging out information from internet when I do not know what is there to dig. Has a strict lecturer who has high expectations from students. Tutorials are downright annoying and Reflective Journals are boring.


FLUID MECHANICS

Has a foreign lecturer whose accents none of us can truly catch. Fluid subject itself is confusing and quite difficult to fathom but so far so good. Perhaps it's because I didn't have time to really study it to understand it. Why, you might ask? Here comes the last subject


DESIGN OF CONCRETE STRUCTURES

I must say I think it's a bit unfair to ask a second year student to take such a technical subject. In this unit basically we learn about concretes, and the calculations needed when solving a structure. Flexibility method is easy but extremely annoying. Moment Distribution Method by Hardy Cross simply makes everybody's lives a living nightmare. To solve statically indeterminate structures is just a pain in the a*s.

This unit contains a big project: we are required to analyse a bridge. Basically, we have to analyse the slabs, girders and piers by finding all the reactions, shear force diagram, bending moment diagram and their deflections. We have a lecturer who greatly overestimates her students' intelligence by teaching only one example (and a very simple one) for every theory and expect them to solve questions that are beyond what computer can accurately analyse. This is why engineering students have no lives.

It's late. I'm off to sleep. Tired day.

Change of Hairstyle

I've been incredibly busy these few days and I will only get much busier until my semester ends, so I've got nothing much to update and even if I have, they would be dull, as they would most likely centre on my studies.

Anyway, 18/10/2015 is the day I finally abandon "botak" permanently. I have now, at the help of my friend, changed a hairstyle, and I've begun to use hair gel.

Let's see how things turn out. Sometimes, we need some changes in our lives to make our life interesting.

Girlfriend?

Friends keep asking me what type of girl I like. Truth to be told, most of my friends I have in university already have a girlfriend, that makes me the odd one out as I remain single till date.

What type of girl I like? There's no particular one.

To understand why I have not got a girlfriend is complicated. It goes very deep into my personal life.

I come from a family background so broken and so hard I refuse to further elaborate on it. I grow up taking care my mum by forcing myself to be mature, and standing up for her against aggression and oppression she faced.

Not to say my dad is a bad guy. He doesn't abuse us, at least physically. He's just the kind of guy you cannot mix along very well, and thus his presence gave too much hurt. He loves me, he loves my mother and my family, but the way he does it, exacerbated by his own personality, it does much more harm to us than good.

Don't get me wrong, I love my dad. My dad is a victim of his own personality, but he is too aged to change. So my dad and mum, they have their troubles that sort of affected me.

Growing up taking care of a repeatedly and deeply injured mum, after so many years, just wear me out.

Emotionally, I am drained, I am beat. I can no longer have the desire to further protect another person.

I have no strength to try to love. Nor do I have any more strength to find someone else to care.

Emotionally, I am dead beat. 

I want a girlfriend like every boy does, but I have no ability to get one.

After so many years of protecting someone I love, I think I deserve to be taken care of, instead of taking care again.

I'll wait patiently for any girls who understand my predicament, and who is willing to take care of me.

But this is a preposterous requirement. So....

No. I won't go around looking for a girl. I'll just get along, and if I have feelings, I'll act. If I don't, I'll wait.

I'm just too emotionally tired, to initiate another relationship that will be filled with dramas.