Why I Studied Engineering Despite It Isn't My First Choice

I won't bother to deny Engineering is not my first choice when I considered to study a degree program. Why?

It all is because of interest.

Ironic isn't it. It appears that obviously Engineering ain't my first choice, and therefore it ain't my biggest interest, but why did I choose to study it instead of what I find interesting most?

Here's why.

My interest is in English and Maths, but I will tell why I decide to drop both by explaining only one.

You see. I like English. I like to write. I have been writing my blog since I ended PMR back in 2009 and till now I still write and I ain't stopping that momentum, simply because my love for writing is still burning hot.

Then why I do not wish to pursue my study in English?

Here's why.

If I pursue English, I have, in general, only two options: becoming a teacher, or a journalism (basically in the media).

Becoming a teacher is definitely not a route I want to walk. I know too much of this sick society to ever become a teacher (not referring to you, my students, this decision arises long before I taught you guys).

That means I left with only journalism.

I like to write. Journalists need to write a lot, and they get what they write to be read and commented by their readers. They even get awards.

I understand we have the freedom to speech. I exercise my freedom to speech, with caution, and with intensity. I have no fear in voicing my opinions, though I know the freedom to express does not necessarily indicate your expression gets to be heard, answered or responded.

But it doesn't matter.

What matters is the process in which journalists go through to get a report to be published.

To be journalist, you are often entrusted to report an issue you have no interest in simply because the public has the interest to know.

You write because it is what the public wants to read, you don't really get to write simply because you want to write it. That's just not how things work.

If I am asked to write something I do not like, or something I hate, or something I have zero knowledge on, to produce a quality report that is invincible by law and flawless, I have to do intense research and interviews to ensure what I will publish is academically correct and appropriate.

I have to call on people to read what I write. I have to record what people say to be rewritten.

I have to analyse what people say and try to rewrite them with my pitiable little knowledge on it.

And worse still I have deadlines to meet. I have no reference point to refer upon.

If I like doing what I like, I like to do it freely, to do it without responsibilities, to have no pressure and certainly to not be scrutinised that heavily.

If I am bound by responsibilities, I have people to answer to. I have a duty to serve. I take the mantle if what I report is wrong. On the other hand, it is incumbent upon me to properly deliver a message if I am required to, without mistakes.

That means, I am restricted in doing what I like.

When I have interest in doing something, I refuse, with every fibre of my being, to be bound by responsibilities, duties, time limits, and I will not allow myself to be stopped by criticism, or anything at all.

That would not be possible if I were to become a journalist.

Therefore, I cannot become one. And I ergo cannot study English.

After explaining this, I think it is suffice to explain why I do not want to study what I like best. Because studying it too much simply kills the interest.

It is a sad fact that people don't care about your interest, people care about whether you get your responsibility done.

Interest is best left to be performed at times you like. And done in the way you prefer to do.

While Engineering ain't my first choice, I don't hate it, I don't reject it, and frankly I think I am beginning to like it more than I did in previous years.

Perhaps a new found interest is not that bad.

But one thing I am sure, I cannot kill what I grow up liking: writing, and doing Maths.

That's why I studied a degree program that is my third choice.

And I would proudly say, I am not regretting my decision.